Crappy day so far
What a bad day at work today. Just about everyone pissed me off or annoyed the shit out of me. I was accused of calling someone a lier(not true), I was sexually harassed over the phone while I was trying to help the person, I have certain co-workers that are useless and make the company look bad which is very frustrating. This is just some of the shit that happened. I am not the perfect employee but it felt like everyone set out to get under my skin today. I actually like my job but lately its not as enjoyable. Today was the worst in a while. I know my moods have been unstable lately and I get easily irritated, angry, annoyed,etc. so thats part of the problem. I feel even if I was feeling better today still would have sucked but maybe I would have handled it better and not let it bother me so much. I'm so sick of feeling this way. I just wish I could find some relief from these unstable and volatile moods. Still waiting to see if the new meds will help. I know one thing that will help but I'm fighting against it. I know cutting is not the safest way to cope but its what I know. At least I'm home now. I feel like isolating myself from the world sometimes, don't have to deal with people they don't have to deal with me…..all alone. Of coarse I get lonely…. I can't win.
Replies
im so sorry you had a crappy day... honestly all jobs are going to have atleast some people who will make the company look like crap.. and there\'s not really anything you can but just focus on what you are doing... when you are feeling these emotions, try and think of some things that will help you calm down... and just distract yourself from the situation... however I can relate to wanting to cut and have it take away everything even it\'s just for a little bit... because cuttinf always seems to make things better... we all can have our moments where we just feel like crap and we just want to go away... but its not always the right decision... it justs makes us even more miserable... try to do some activities that interest you like taking walks or anything that you like... I personally like to take walks and write all emotions down not holding anything back.. that usual helps because you are able to let out everything that wad built up inside.. don\'t let it win you over.. ya I am still struggling with that, but I always somehow believe that everything will work out in the end.. nothing make not make sense but everything happens for a reason... to teach and help us grow... just think atleast we have people on here that will always be here to help...
Thank you Angel93 for your kind words and good advice. I know there are a lot of idiots in my company but recently and especially yesterday I just couldnt deal with it. It was just one thing after another and I couldnt calm myself down. Very frustrating. These days it takes all my energy to get through a work day, putting on a fake smile, trying to be professional, etc. By the time I get home Im drained physically and emotionally. I have no energy to do anything. You are right, I need to try and get out and walk or something. I love the outdoors. I just dont have the ambition these days. I agree that we have this site and good friends for support. It does help. Thank you.
you are most welcome PaganSpirit... when you start to feel that way, just think to yourself.. \"is this really important to stress or getting frustrated over?\" \"what I can do to remove myself from this situation?\" and \" is worth it to put in so mich strengt?\"... I can relate to putting on fake smiles I do it all the time... I honestly have done it so much that I don\'t even know if its fake or real anymore... I know what thats like not being very motivated to do things... but you just gotta push yourself no matter what you are feeling... you just tell yourself that you are going to go for a walk or do something today.. that you love to do..
I hear you about the terrible trouble you face dealing with fucktards when your coping skills are pushed to the limits. All I can suggest is to minimise what is going on in your life so you are just doing the basics to get you through this volatile time. No extra stresses. Good luck with the meds and I hope you don\'t cut xo
Fucktards.ha,ha,ha. Haven\'t heard that one for a while. Very fitting for this situation. Thanks guys for the support and advice. When I\'m this unstable I seem to forget everything I\'ve learned in therapy. I need reminders from my therapist and supportive friends. Hard part for me is doing it, I\'ve lived my whole life keeping stuff to myself and learning dangerous coping techniques its very hard to break bad habits but I am trying with various degrees of success. I appreciate you guys taking the time to read and comment, it means a lot to me.
anytime PaganSpirit.. :) just paying it forward from the help you have given me..I can relate to keeping stuff to yourself... I do it all the time, where ill just keep everything to myself and just burry them indside till eventually they burst out and explode.. and then I resort to the cutting because all that emotion is too much
I am here for you sweetie I am sorry your day was not good. Giving you lots of hugs