crappy

i am feeling terrible terrible terrible today.  ive been doing well and been feeling so strong and helping so many people with so many things, and today i just broke. khaely my 10 year old, bipolar daughter has been suspended from school coz they are klutzes who obviously know nothing about bipolar. she is so depressed now, and doesnt even want to carry on and my heart is broken. ive spoken to the principal who agrees she can come back tomorrow, as it is khaely's birthday and i feel it would be really cruel for her to just sit at home alone.  but she is very very difficult to contain. visits with the doctor continue to try get her meds right. my son jarod has gone increasingly reckless. he is ADHD and on ritalin, but increasingly i think he might be showing early signs of biplar too. very aggressive, even violent. also great risk taking, climbing on roofs and over electric fences, thinks he is clever, and doesn't respond to discipline. i miss jessy so bad, i cried today because of every thing i am tired i am suffering i just wish some people would take over for a few days, i cried and cried, the pain in me was severe, i panicked that this pain would never really go away, and eventully i just vomited from i dont know what. your friend jan is feeling at ROCK BOTTOM!  i try SO hard, where are the results?!

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

My Darling Jan, you have so much to contend with every day. Unfortunately the rewards for trying so hard don\'t always come the way we think they will. I have lost faith in the belief \'that what comes round, goes round,\' as the injustices I constantly see overwhelm me. Some people seem to be sent far more than their fair share of heart ache and struggles. Our angel children are in a better place. Sending you all my love, Charlotte. xo
deleted_user
deleted_user

You do have a lot to deal with on a daily basis...you are a lot stronger than you give yourself credit ...just keep plodding along - one day at a time - sometimes it takes awhile for the rewards to begin to show...Hugs, Ann
deleted_user
deleted_user

My dear friend Jan, I am so sorry that you are feeling so bad. I wish I lived close to you to help you through this very horrible journey. Is there anyone there that can help you? You have so much going on right now and it can be overwhelming at times. Just take one day at a time and have faith in God, He will help you through this struggles. I am here my friend and I care and love you. Take it easy on yourself. Love Kathy
deleted_user
deleted_user

Jan, remember we have good days and bad days. You are just having a setback. I still have those after a year and a half. I expect to always have them. The good days become more frequent so be patient. Do you have some family or someone who could lighten your load for you to re-energize? Maybe when the kids go to school, you could treat yourself to a nice bath and a nap. I\'m sorry for all the trials friend. Here for love and support. Robin
deleted_user
deleted_user

i\'m so sorry. it\'s hard but you have to find the good in your kids and press on. you are so strong and such a remarkable person. you\'ve been dealt a lot but you can get through it. praying for you... love and hugs, meg
deleted_user
deleted_user

Jan, I wish that someone whether it be dr., friend, or otherwise could help find a way to get both of your kids feeling better. You are dealing with so much day to day, and I worry about and for you! While it seems clear you need a break, there just doesn\'t seem to be a way for you to get one. I\'m hoping that soon things will work out, that meds will be dosed correctly, and you and your children will be able to find some peace in your lives. Love and hugs
Candice