crappy

i am feeling terrible terrible terrible today.  ive been doing well and been feeling so strong and helping so many people with so many things, and today i just broke. khaely my 10 year old, bipolar daughter has been suspended from school coz they are klutzes who obviously know nothing about bipolar. she is so depressed now, and doesnt even want to carry on and my heart is broken. ive spoken to the principal who agrees she can come back tomorrow, as it is khaely's birthday and i feel it would be really cruel for her to just sit at home alone.  but she is very very difficult to contain. visits with the doctor continue to try get her meds right. my son jarod has gone increasingly reckless. he is ADHD and on ritalin, but increasingly i think he might be showing early signs of biplar too. very aggressive, even violent. also great risk taking, climbing on roofs and over electric fences, thinks he is clever, and doesn't respond to discipline. i miss jessy so bad, i cried today because of every thing i am tired i am suffering i just wish some people would take over for a few days, i cried and cried, the pain in me was severe, i panicked that this pain would never really go away, and eventully i just vomited from i dont know what. your friend jan is feeling at ROCK BOTTOM!  i try SO hard, where are the results?!