Cowardly
Why am I such a bloody coward ... All I had to do was walk into the church I regularly attend and witness the Baptism of my friends child.
Should be easy right!
How come I've been shaking like a leaf, crying before I left home, in need of grounding myself and still not actually made it inside the Church ... I'm sitting in the extension on my own watching the service on th screen, still shaking & still feeling like crying.
It supposed to be a joyous occasion, why is this so hard? Why am I should a bloody coward?
Should be easy right!
How come I've been shaking like a leaf, crying before I left home, in need of grounding myself and still not actually made it inside the Church ... I'm sitting in the extension on my own watching the service on th screen, still shaking & still feeling like crying.
It supposed to be a joyous occasion, why is this so hard? Why am I should a bloody coward?
Replies
Hi Janine...Something that seems \"easy\" on the surface just isn\'t that simple for those of us who deal with social anxiety. You\'re not a coward at all....you\'re just impacted by all of the things that have happened in your past. How much of a role do you think your feelings about yourself affect your interactions with other people? In my own experience, my past has led me to have insecurities in my present -- which sometimes trigger anxiety, even when I know that I\'m going to be with friends. In fact, sometimes being with friends is even *worse*, because I\'m afraid they might eventually judge me as not being \"good enough\" to be their friend. Not certain if you can relate to this, but I wanted you to know you\'re not alone. Please don\'t beat up on yourself. I\'m always here if you need a friend. Take care! Judy
Thank you for your kind comments, yes I can relate to what you say. There is lots of uncertainty in the present as well as the affects of the past at the moment & I am really struggling to do anything. Some days I cannot even fake a smile anymore!