Could I stop

If I just stopped talking and aloud would people think I'm crazy. Court was traumatic and people r making me talk about it and relive it and I just wonder if I could be mute while I work through This. Would anyone blame me. I don't know how I'm going to get through this but I know I can't keep reliving that experience. Talking is what go me into this mess. In the court room my attorney said I had to testify because of what his attorney was doing. I don't fully understand it. But anyway he ended up dropping his plead deal so I wouldn't have to testify and he looked sick and not like the man I knew. And that's when the guilt started I did that to him I put him through this when he was my dad and cared for my family I messed that up. It took everything I had not to run out of the court room or worse run into his arms and say what ever to make it end. He was my daddy the one I know when I was 6. And worst of all my grandma hugged everyone but me and acted as if I wasn't there. And my family heard everything that he did to me. Everything. I can't keep talking about it over and over again and I seems like that's all people want to talk about so the only thing I can come up with is not using my voice being mute. It worked in a book I read maybe it will for me.