Could be worse.
Still pretty depressed... But today hasn't been bad. Woke up early, not tired or in a bad mood. Went with my dad to his drug test because he hates going out alone. Sat in the car while i waited and listened to music. Just got home. Had a good conversation with him while we were gone. Wasn't bad. : ) Gotta get back on track with my weight loss, been slacking a lil bit.. But, not gonna get myself down about it this time, just gonna get back on top of it. Feeling pretty lost, but trying to keep my chin up and not let myself fall apart again. Taking it one day at a time.
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I am sorry your going through a hard time. But I like your positive attitude and I am so proud of you:) Hugs
You may consider yourself fortunate, in a way, that you know depression is a problem for you. I did not understand about my Bipolar Disorder until my early 30s, although I had unexplainable episodes since I was at least 13. I lost jobs and fucked up relationships. It took me another 10 years to come to grips with my illness. But I\'m pretty okay now, I just got kicked off SSI Disability because I have been making way too much money the last few years. I consider it \"graduation\" and a sign of recovery.
I know that you are a teen, and it\'s difficult to diagnose and treat teens because, changes come with that stage of life. Keep in mind that there are plenty of adults who struggled like you and ended up okay, with families and good lives. Time is a healer, sometimes you wish it would go faster, we can\'t control that.
Do you have seasonal depression? I have known for decades that I get a little hypo-manic in the late Fall, it\'s sort of fun, then I crash into depression around the end of the year. Knowing it\'s coming can help, you can say, I know what\'s kicking my butt, and this too shall pass. I didn\'t even realize how depressed I was for most of January until it lifted a few weeks ago, and I thought, \"My, I guess I WAS depressed, because I feel so much better now.\" since I found a mood stabilizer medication that works for me, the swings have been much less severe. I think also people learn to cope as they age, and maybe the symptoms become mellower too.
Seasonal depression may not even be triggered by events, some think it is caused by changes in the length of days and the light we are exposed to. Some people are helped by light therapy. Or the temperature, being inside so much. Nobody knows for sure, and there are probably many causes.
One day at a time is often the best we can do. I admire your attitude too, like others have said.
I also co-facilitate a DBSA peer support group for mood disorders. We had a teenage member who was mandated to go to a support group, she came with her caseworker. At first she wasn\'t very comfortable with the whole thing. I think it helped her to see older people in the group who learned to cope and had lives and families. Before she left, she made bead bracelets for everybody in the group, there were about 6 regular members. Mine says \"JUSTFUL\" and it is something I prize. She probably doesn\'t even realize how much of an impression she made on me and the other members.