convuluted dream.......wake up in the

middle of the night.

confused......so confused.  it's 2:39 am.  raining.  feeling rough.  in a california town at the beach, the only way to get to my kids is how?  so i  try the beach....doesn't work. next i try crossing over until i find the freeway.  filled with obstacles.  a train, a mud slide......the phone doesn't work.  people acting strangely and then out of nowhere one of my children in in my backback.  ok, but confused and sleepy.  still one child short......i continue to get to my second child.  difficult obstacles, i go so far down the road and finally realize i have to go back to where i was and try again. 

i'm fighting a panicky feeling with every step to get to my other child.  for reasons beyond me i remember that i left them on the beach asleep while i went to find our car.......nothing makes sense at all save this feeling of fearful panic. at one point a train almost lands on a big group of us........there is so much mud pulling at us.......finally the phone works and i hear my son's voice, but now my back feels lighter......i hear my little girls voice......her little tiny girl voice and she is with me but i can't see her.  i can hear my son but he sounds like an adult.  he says he lost several jobs because he was stranded in California and he's in all kinds of trouble.  he tells me he's long gone from the beach and i can tell he's beyond angry with me.

when i wake up i feel sick and confused and upset.  shake it off.  s h a k e it off..............a very detailed yet nonsensical dream.  distressing........i need more delta sleep and something for nausea.  sorry to only come here to vent, but in the middle of the ngiht who is here to listen?  yes, God of course.........so this is to God and to you.  your tired weird dream manufacturing friend sadly awake.  girl needs rest..........you do too.  time to go try again.  now i lay me down to sleep........i pray the Lord my soul to SLEEP all through the night.