Contacting the Soul and Mystical Union - An Interview

An Interview with Laurie Conrad by Diana Souza. Ithaca, New York.

Q Laurie, one of the biggest goals of the spiritual path is to find divine union?

A That is very well said.

Q Have you experienced mystical union?

A I think I have. I would say that the period following my accident brought me to divine union, to mystical union. My accident and the time following it was the Dark Night of the Soul.

I could also say that there is absolutely nothing else in our experience on earth, anything that we could experience, that is more profound, more peaceful, more filled with love, or more powerful than mystical union. If I had not experienced it, I could never have even imagined what it would feel like. But I think I have felt it, and it is extraordinary, beyond human comprehension. If you take your deepest, most passionate love for another human being, whether it be a lover or a husband, a wife or a child, or a dog or any other creature - it would be like comparing a thimbleful of water to the vast ocean. There is really nothing like it in our human experience. I should also say that there is not always this high price to pay for it. I am in many ways behind most other people in my natural understanding and inherent goodness - and I am far more stubborn in some ways. Mystical union does not have to come as the result of a car accident and difficult injuries and much suffering. This way was my destiny, my path, and most likely the result of my own stupidity and resistance to holiness. There are saints and ordinary, simple people who are able to make that transition to divine union, I am sure, very easily. But I am not a saint, so instead I had a car accident. And it is only through Grace that I then was given mystical union.

Q So your accident was the vehicle of your deliverance to divine union in a way?

A Well, it was. And it is still very hard for me here on earth in many ways, because of my injuries, for instance. But to experience mystical union is incomparable.

Q So it's a high price to pay, but the reward can't be compared to the price you're paying really?

A Yes. And as I say, not everyone has to go through what I went through to get there. I am sure that many people just very easily walk through that Door. Through their deep and constant devotion and natural sanctity.

Q I'm not so sure about that.

A Well, I certainly hope that I am right.

Also, after the accident, when I was mainly in that deep, deep place inside - and from that inner place I could see that most of us, in our daily lives, are living on the periphery of a greater truth. After the accident, people took care of me around the clock for months, if not a year or more. And when they came in the room, talking and so forth, and I was so deep inside, in this inner place... you could say that I was in the spiritual Heart because I was mostly meditating - and wherever I was, I was standing in that greater truth, whatever that is. That was not said very well, but I think you get the idea. You could say that I was standing in the soul. There were no thoughts where I was because of my head injuries, and when there are no thoughts it is very, very quiet inside. And when it is very quiet in that way for long stretches of time, it is contemplation.

During meditation, or contemplation, we are waiting for something greater than ourselves, hopefully the soul, to present itself to us. And when people would come in with all their usual cares and chatter and pursuits, I would just lie there and feel that people were missing the meaning of true Life and of true Being. And I movies about enlightenment  express it to them, because I could not yet speak. So, I would comfort myself by saying inwardly that when I was more healed and could speak, I would tell them. As time went on, I could again speak - but I still did not tell them. I am not sure why that is, and it is a regret - so I am saying it now.

Interestingly enough, friends afterward said: "You know, the only time I really felt peace was when I was sitting with you in your house, after your accident." And I think part of that was just where I was inwardly. But also because I couldn't reflect the world back to them in the usual way. So they were given an opportunity to find that inner place. As the sages and teachers and saints of all religions have told us, as Christ Himself told us: if we get too caught up in the world, we are missing a deeper life. We are missing true Life. And I am not sure that I would have fully understood this, at least not in this particular way, if I had not been in the accident. So from that point of view, I was very very fortunate to be so injured.

Q It opened up a huge vision you wouldn't have had otherwise?

A Yes, from the soul's point of view.

Q It opened up your soul's vision.

A It opened up my vision. The soul already saw. I think, during our lives here on earth, we must try to come from the soul's point of view as often as we can, we must try to align ourselves with the soul's vision. In my opinion, it is one of the major tasks we are given. That, combined with humility before God; trust and humility. I think those are the keys.

Q You always put the words "die" and "death" in quotation marks. What is your purpose in doing that?

A I put them in quotation marks, not because I particularly object to the words "die" or "death"; I put those terms in quotes because we do not really die and we are not really dead.

When people first started asking me to clairvoyantly find their lost animals: "Is Pumpkin still alive? He hasn't been home for three days," I began to realize that I could not clairvoyantly tell whether they were still in the body or not. If they were still alive in the body, I would see them alive in the body and sometimes I could tell you exactly where they were. But even if they had been hit by a car and killed, when I saw them clairvoyantly, they still looked alive and happy and were full of life. Because they were still alive, they were just in another realm.