I am sick of this life of lies and emotional torture that gambling is causing me.  I am now at the point of thinking I have to gamble to make back some of my latest loosings but I know that won't help.  I have to face the fact that what is gone is gone and only giving up gambling will help me get control of my life and get my financial house "back in black" hence the username.  I want to start by sharing with you the fact that I am a gambling addict and will be the rest of my life, that is just the fact.  I also have been clean in the past for almost a year and am now ready to get clean for the rest of my life.  1 day at a time I can overcome this battle and get to a point where I am ble to live life without a preoccupation to gamble.