Conscious Grief Rituals

What is "unconscious" grief? This is the grief that comes bubbling up when we are least expecting it. It is when we suddenly realize that our hand is in the pond, covered by a wave of grief that hit us like a lightning bolt. That song on the radio that throws us into a state of grief or that product in the grocery store that reminds us of our loss or any of hundreds of events that can arise that involuntarily throw us into an unwanted state of grief. It is when grief confronts us unexpectedly and usually without our having requested its presence. Most of us find this difficult and want to minimize these states. An interesting and little known secret is that the best way to diminish this "unconscious grief" is to find a way to consciously take samples of your grief on a regular basis. The action is something like a release valve on a steam engine. By doing regular conscious rituals we release the pressure from the unconscious parts and give ourselves a little more breathing room. By intentionally experiencing the pain the reservoir of our grief becomes less pressured and also less likely to erupt unexpectedly. This is less true in a powerful or acute grief where the eruptions are involuntary and often unstoppable but even in these circumstances conscious connection with our pain will reduce the potency of the eruptions by a bit. Conscious grief rituals are not quick fix cures for grief-- they are short term pressure releases with long term benefits. "Unconscious grief" is unpredictable, difficult, and painful. As a therapist I have always been on the lookout for ways to minimize the power of these unconscious waves of grief. I'm sorry to say that there is no easy cure. The most direct way has already been mentioned, that being the regular practice of conscious rituals. By deliberately finding vent for our grief we take the pressure off of the unconscious contents.
Tom Golden - 
more can be found at: http://www.webhealing.com/3col1097.html
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I love the internet! This stuff is brilliant! Wow. Without shared collective wisdom i.e. the internet, we'd each be on our own. 
I will be thinking about my own grief rituals. I know they are many and filled with love, but I might not even know all of them because they have become LESS conscious, in a strange way... just part of my living and breathing. Is this good or do I need to bring them to the conscious mind again in order to maintain the value of their release? Something to think about.
xoxoxo
Much love to all -
Sarah