Confused again

I'm out, I'm free. 

A new world, new school, new friends, new family, mostly a new me. 

A new world with each day as unexpected as the last. How do I fall asleep with out my patterns? How do I know when to stop eating without the look? Living in a new world with no map or rules on how to navigate my new terrain. 

A new school full of classes half over. Groups mad because I'm a late addition. Teachers look at me like I am nothing but a problem. How do I think about school with my head moving so fast? No friends no understanding teachers, how do I care? 

No new friends although the house I'm in has 2 others in my school one my grade the other a grade above. They say we are friends so friendly are we. But at school I am a pariah. How do I make friends if I might be leaving soon? 

A new family that shows me what My life could have been like at the same time as showing me what I miss the most about my old family. It could have been sweet with care and love allaround. I miss their laughs and joy. I miss my mom working so hard for us all. I miss his smile. 

A new me. Who doesn't know how to get my body on track with my mind. No eating for so long then being told it's okay. Brain says yes body says no. Wanting his touch on me so I can go numb again. My bossy says yes my brain says no. 

A life I'm not sure about yet. A job with a little to look forward to. Maybe Nick (foster brothers bf) could be something I get used to having around.