Confused

I have bipolar disorder. I'm a married woman who my in laws know this about me. I feel like they hold it over my head. I may be just having an off day could be tired. The same answer from them "oh your bipolar kicking in" I can't stand it. Always calling you out on your wrongs and never acknowledge your achievements. Lately I've been feeling like I wanna fight. Was at the grocery store earlier and this lady in front of me was doing nothing at all just waiting for her dude to bring an item back. I just wanted to knock her upside her head. I'm looking for a fight anywhere I can find one. I just want to be left alone I don't want nobody not even my husband I just want a book and some music. I wanna be able to cry but I feel like I can't because it will give them something to hold over my head. I hate my in laws sometimes they are OK but most of the time they are your worst nightmare. I'm afraid to put anything online for fear that they will see it and say hurtful and mean things. I love my husband he sees the things they do tries to stand up for me but they put him down too. I'm just so lost anybody have any suggestions.