Confused!!!

I am so confused. I have done a lot of thinking. Is this happening because I have strayed from God? Let me explain and help myself understand this. When Roy and I were at Spring Retreat, the Holy Spirit moved in me and helped me help Roy. Since Roy has been sick I have not heard God’s audible voice. When I moved into the house it seemed so great and I did take my time to consider it. The land lord claimed to be Christian and all that. Then this ordeal with the youth group and camp. Did Joe really say that I could come up to camp or did I hallucinate or just hear what I wanted to hear. The boys remember him saying it. Then there is the phone call to Jennifer, did I not tell her I was going up or did I say something else? Why did the youth leaders jump to such quick decisions, have I not proven myself and loyalty to the church by now? Could it be that I have strayed from God? That I am not letting the Holy Spirt lead me? How do I turn my life around? How do I correct this without just putting a band aid on it? I am going to go pray.