complex feelings
last night I had some revelations about some things, but then also
had some complex feelings about my life. I felt like certain relationships that are important
to me are strained and yet also if I think about it, it may be accentuated by the fact that
we are all quarentined and frustrated with our lack of freedoms. All our feathers are being rufffled right now.
My paranoia really gets the better of me - one 'moment' out of order in my day and it can send me reeling
into thoughts of negativity... I tried yesterday and today to think about the idea of accepting those
realities...that maybe indeed those relationships ARE strained - and that took away the power to have them be
my GLOBAL all encompassing outlook - that worked last night for a little while
- but today not so much..I realize I have to just keep going and accept that we're all frustrated by something or another
in these times of social distancing. I am so lucky to have my cat and my home and food so perhaps I should go for
another walk. I have no idea how I am going to get through this - but I will...the 'this' in this case is a combination
of the crestallen feelings of being isolated by the idea that my essential relationships are challenged - but then also
the fact that I am social distancing and have no person to relate to and my paranoid feelings are taking center stage
and are self perpetuating. I need to shake it off and go for a walk. I'm down, it's a cloudy day but maybe I will call my sisters later today. Or my bro.
I hope you guys are having a fun day. Courage and strength! thanks.
Replies
maybe if I see it as "we all have ruffled feathers" with each other at times, maybe we all have to deal with ourselves
and our goals and also our relationships - challenging us in a lot of different ways. Uggh..
just go through the moments and appreciate the good moments.
Hm-m-m-m. . . Never have thought of ^it^ before, but now that ya got me thinking, I find myself believing that ALL relationships are strained. It be the stress which connects us into a relationship. The more traffic which moves across the connection, the greater the stress. I would NEVER give a random stranger on the street lateral which I give the loves of my life. The willingness to work through the rough spots is what makes the many diffs between those random strangers and the loves of my life. If ^it^ was easy, everybody would do ^it^.
"Challenging" is an understatement, but the challenges of isolation aren't easy, either, even without the germaphobic isolation of Global Coronaville.
thanks Arfie!!