Coming out of the closet as well...

Well... since Cloris had the courage to come out and admit something that I know was hard to say, I dont want her to be alone - I will too.   I myself gambled saturday.  I dont like what I did, especially since I was only a day away from 60 days.  But it is my bed to lie in, and that's what I did all day Sunday.
But I know now, its not any different at 60 days than it was at 1 day.  Still want to stay and gamble as long as I can -- still felt bad afterwards.  BUT --- It made realize something, made me really appreciate the money I had been saving over the last few months.  And I really, really came to enjoy having money for things besides the casino.  And I want it to stay that way, I dont want that broke, desperate feeling back.  I didnt break my bank, but I sure wasnt thinking about how long it took me to save that money when it only took me about 4 hours to spend it. 
Gosh... I sure hate counting days.  So instead of being back at day 1, I am back at square one.  But I have learned and realized so much in the last 60 days.  I have faith that the next 60 will be wonderful and blessed.  I will get back on that pony, will have to strap that saddle a little tighter this time.
 
Oh yea... for all of those that havent been to a casino in a while -- congratulations and keep on keeping on.  For those of you wondering/thinking/contemplating on going --- Its the same ole hell hole that will suck you in and spit you out in a heartbeat!!!

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

I am really sorry. Not because of the 60 days because you still have that to your credit. We can\'t take that away from you. I don\'t like the idea of counting days even tho I know I have to work it just for today. Like a diet, sometimes we are losing weight and eating right, and then we eat a whole pie or something silly and say darn, I ruined it. No, just forgive yourself and keep going and relish the times you are on track. It\'s hard I admit and I am sure it is the same hell hole I remember. love barb
bear22
bear22

Sorry to hear that. Don\'t beat yourself and treat as a lesson learnt. You gone GF for almost 2 months so no reason why you can\'t do it again and continue it! Just take it one day at a time and don\'t let tomorrow or the past cloud today.
smokeygirl
smokeygirl

Hi SheliaMac,
Don\'t beat up on yourself too badly; we\'ve all done it. This time I haven\'t but I can\'t say I haven\'t had the urges to. As Barb said, you can\'t take those 60 days away. . you earned them and worked hard. I know you are very strong and will just pick up where you left off. Glad to hear it is still the same hell hole . . knowing that can help us all stay away from it.
Take care girlfriend,
Big hugs,
Smokeygirl
mrsfroggie
mrsfroggie

That\'s a good attitude to have! Get back on that pony that threw you. You have learned a lot about yourself. Now take what you learned and use it to your benefit. I\'m proud of you for coming back and telling your story, it is a hard thing to do to admit a slip, but it helps when you do. Hang in there and focus on just today. Peace and Love. Patty
cloris
cloris

Totally sucks huh? well we know nothing has changed in the gambling world.
I hate counting days too, but i can\'t wait to say I have not gambled for years- we can do it, Here we go- we know it is so much more peaceful to not gamble so we will NOT gamble :) i am with ya
deleted_user
deleted_user

Yeah and how many times can you say I only gambled once in 60 days. If it werent for this you would be going every 4 days right? So I say, keep the 60 days in your memory and be proud of it. your friend, Barb