Comfort in a new place

I definitely wanted to write a journal entry for a time that I was having a good day, but what is funny is that I didn't even realize some of the little things that show I am getting better.  One example is wanting to choose a cute font and color.  It screams to me that one day I will care again about making myself happy on my own instead of relying on going to someone else or having a baby (which were my only two ways to dig myself out of despair on bad days or during bad moments).  I don't think I even saw that you could pick the font and color the first journal entry, and if I saw them I definitely didn't care.   Today is the first day that I have spent any length of time in my office and not wanted to run out and go home.  It seems like the more I expose myself to the things that are really hard and make me uncomforatable, the easier that they get to deal with.  It doesn't mean that I am able to enjoy it or ignore it, but it's at least bearable.  It gives me hope that all things in time will get easier and more bearable, like seeing little girls or pregnant women, which I still lose it over.  Okay, in all fairness, I am switching offices at my building.  For some reason sitting at my desk reminds me of being pregnant in so many ways, and I feel like the new office will be a fresh start with fewer memories.  Sometimes I even feel that way about my house, but I know that I could never leave her nursery behind now.   My little girl is in Heaven.  She is going to be a perfect Angel and live a perfect life.  I truly believe that from the bottom of my heart.  She will be mine and my husbands gaurdian angel forever.  I love you Ellison, and I miss you every second!