Coffee time
I live in a community here at the monastery. It's nice to be around people all the time as well as to be able to go to my room and be with my cat.I have to admit though, when I am tired and in services and when my mind wanders and I sit down, though most worship has us standing, I start to project the negativity people seem to be sending my way. I sense too when I am hanging out in the living room after services I also sense the vibe. . I'd like to be loved and admired (as crazy as that sounds) but I have to be clear with myself that the negativity I sense is really my mind's creation. I also must talk to my elder about these feelings. Maybe it's an unreasonable standard I am setting for myself?
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Lead by example be a positive beacon of light
thanks CCleaver I also realized that I need to keep a mental check in on things, well I am kind of repeating it.. I started to talk with the people in the living room
afterward and they were all happy and total opposite of what I was thinking - I need to keep in contact with my own sense of the road
to keep a better mind about things and sense my feelings. If I want attention, I need to keep mindful of it and not be so moved in stupid ways about it.
The stories we tell ourselves can really wreak havoc. I'm so glad you communicated with your community to hear the positive truth.
Thanks Susan. You are so right, thanks.