Closure
Well...
I sent the Doctor his Christmas present.
I'd had it sitting in my room for the last two months. I had made him a rosary and had it blessed. I was dating the Science Teacher then. The Science Teacher did not like the Doctor at all; the Doctor made him feel insecure because my family liked the Doctor so much and, well, he was a doctor after all.
It felt wrong to send the rosary to the Doctor because I was supposed to be loyal to the Science Teacher, but I had the supplies and made it anyway. I just never sent it. The wire was silver with nickel-plated bead caps over picasso jasper and another grey/black jasper we can't name. It cost me a fourth of my paycheck (at the time) for the supplies, so I made it anyway, thinking I'd find another person to give it to, someone perhaps more deserving.
But the more I thought about it, the Doctor drove six hours in one day, there and back, to spend a day with me, a day he knew would end in breaking my heart. He still valued me enough to give me that chance. He still cares for me. I knew he deserved it, really, truly, in my heart. I thought I was punishing him in some way. I wasn't, though, and I knew it. It was just a rosary, a stupid, handmade, heirloom rosary. Not a punishing to not give it to someone. I just couldn't bring myself to send it.
Then the Science Teacher dumped me and I knew I had to be rid of the rosary to get complete closure on my past. Nothing was holding me back. I mailed it off last week along with a letter to the Doctor. I don't expect I will ever hear from him, but at least I did the right thing. Eventually.
I sent the Doctor his Christmas present.
I'd had it sitting in my room for the last two months. I had made him a rosary and had it blessed. I was dating the Science Teacher then. The Science Teacher did not like the Doctor at all; the Doctor made him feel insecure because my family liked the Doctor so much and, well, he was a doctor after all.
It felt wrong to send the rosary to the Doctor because I was supposed to be loyal to the Science Teacher, but I had the supplies and made it anyway. I just never sent it. The wire was silver with nickel-plated bead caps over picasso jasper and another grey/black jasper we can't name. It cost me a fourth of my paycheck (at the time) for the supplies, so I made it anyway, thinking I'd find another person to give it to, someone perhaps more deserving.
But the more I thought about it, the Doctor drove six hours in one day, there and back, to spend a day with me, a day he knew would end in breaking my heart. He still valued me enough to give me that chance. He still cares for me. I knew he deserved it, really, truly, in my heart. I thought I was punishing him in some way. I wasn't, though, and I knew it. It was just a rosary, a stupid, handmade, heirloom rosary. Not a punishing to not give it to someone. I just couldn't bring myself to send it.
Then the Science Teacher dumped me and I knew I had to be rid of the rosary to get complete closure on my past. Nothing was holding me back. I mailed it off last week along with a letter to the Doctor. I don't expect I will ever hear from him, but at least I did the right thing. Eventually.
Replies