Climbing the mountain

I want to find out whats on top of the mountain.  Will I find a wise old monk up there?  Or maybe my true self?  Since taking an enneagram under the direction of my therapist, I have learned a great deal about myself and my personality traits.  I also learned that I do have needs, despite my upbringing in a home that practiced self sufficiency and solitude.  By not having needs, no one can hurt me.  The ugly truth is that I have needs and they must be met.  Today, I grab my "backpack" and "walking stick" to begin the ascent to the top of my mountain.  I must acknowledge that I've been hurt, feel the hurt, and let it go.  I want a fufilling life, I want to feel alive again, I want a companion who loves me for who I've always been, but who I've hidden in a box for far too long.  It's not fair to my wife that I have concealed my most inner self from her for 17 years.  Now that he's out of the cage, I cannot put him back.  This has been a lot for both of us to take in and I hope we can both learn about the real me.