Clairity
I have been feeling some major ups and downs lately. I think that I should reread my last entry to see what I covered. I went to my grandmother's funeral last week. I was odd. I think that our family is going to break apart in some way now that she is gone and we are in Colorado and they are in Chicago. The idea of grad school in psychology still intrigues me. I want to explore it more. Although, now that I am getting deeper into the psychology courses things are getting very difficult. Yesterday I applied for a tutor for both of my psychology courses. I think some help with them mich make the material click. I have been dringking a lot of energy drinks each day and that might be the reason that I am having some troubles with my mood. I am trying to now get sick, but my family is all getting sick now.
In some way I want to go live with my mom, but I know that is not feesable becasue of the gas money and parking costs at school. So I try to with her over the weekends. Thursday to Sunday. Sometimes this knocks me out of my groove becasue if I have homework I usually don't get it done while being there.
Some more suicidal thoughts are running through my head again. Just a way to get out of this pain frustration and anxiety of my life. Sometimes I know that people don't understand the illness. My brother told me that if he had kids he would not bring them to tharapy or use medications if they were suggested. I think that's a selfish prsumption, especially when you don't have kids and have not really delt with any mental illness. I think he'll see the picture more clearly in the future.
Other than all of this I don't think that there is anything significant to say. Chi and I have some friction, but that was to be planned for. But, I better get prepaired for class, which is in 2 hours... and I am already on campus.
Goodnight moon.
In some way I want to go live with my mom, but I know that is not feesable becasue of the gas money and parking costs at school. So I try to with her over the weekends. Thursday to Sunday. Sometimes this knocks me out of my groove becasue if I have homework I usually don't get it done while being there.
Some more suicidal thoughts are running through my head again. Just a way to get out of this pain frustration and anxiety of my life. Sometimes I know that people don't understand the illness. My brother told me that if he had kids he would not bring them to tharapy or use medications if they were suggested. I think that's a selfish prsumption, especially when you don't have kids and have not really delt with any mental illness. I think he'll see the picture more clearly in the future.
Other than all of this I don't think that there is anything significant to say. Chi and I have some friction, but that was to be planned for. But, I better get prepaired for class, which is in 2 hours... and I am already on campus.
Goodnight moon.
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