Claiming my miracles
Fighting the exhaustion even as I write this. Have to share. You my friends will understand.
I have been unemployed now for a year, money ran out months ago, limping by on credit. My son is going through a tough phase, he is listless, resentful, unhappy and failing everything in school (this was a consistent honor roll student before now).
I am will rested! Been in or near the bed for most of the past year. Not much work happening on the house, I'm tired. It's stretched on for tooo long, I've gotten used to living in a half finished house.
I still get that weird pain in my lower abs and down into my legs. After 12 doctors visits and 10 different diagnoses I am determined to not go back to the doctor, so I just deal with the pain. Its part of my normal.
I share all this to set the stage you you can uunderstand where I am when I say I AM CLAIMING MY MIRACLES!
Mr first miracle is that I'm still alive. Even with the faith and hope and optimism that thought always seems to come knocking. In my book I include techniques for transmuting such thoughts. I use my own techniques every day.
My next miracle is my book. I've tried unsuccessfully to write for years and never seemed to finish anything. CFS brain fog does not help. Yet my book poured out of me in 6 days. I was writing up to 17 hours a day..unthinkable. Nothing short of a miracle to me.
The other miracle was the content of the book, it really just came to me as I wrote. I learned so many lessons as I was writing, I'd like to do a hardcopy of my book and keep it by my bed. I will need to refer to it over and over. How amazing that this could come out of me, when I have not yet learned some of the lessons? It is called inspiration. It is called grace.
In the last week I have done the graphical design for my book and website. I setup the website, a facebook page, twitter account and blog. All in one week! Note I have been trying to do a one page website for my professional profile (IT) for a year now and always gave up in frustration because I cant seem to concentrate long enough to get it right. How amazing that I am able to do all this now.
And I'm telling you I am feeling the exhaustion. Even when I try to pray my brain refuses to hold onto a thought, I keep having to start over. I am not in remission. I am under grace.
Sometimes it seems like I might be crazy. How can I write about claiming prosperity when I am broke and flat on my back in bed? How can I see myself speaking and writing and inspiring people? Do I even have a chance of being able to do this consistently?
And then the voice that I've worked so hard to learn to recognize very quietly chimes in. 'One day at a time, one step at a time you can do this.'
As I write I have no idea how the bills will be paid next week and the anxiety follows me doggedly. But I'm getting better at simply holding on to faith. Anxiety, worry, depression, fear .. they're losing their power in my life because I am claiming a greater power.
I step forward in faith. I did it, I put the book out there, I've told all my friends about it. Giving up now is not an option.
And I do believe it will be OK. I believe that miracles do happen. I believe that miracles are already happening.
My dear DS friends we are such a varied group, our challenges run the gamut of human experience. Yet we are blessed to have each other. I bless you my dear friends. Claim your miracles.
I have been unemployed now for a year, money ran out months ago, limping by on credit. My son is going through a tough phase, he is listless, resentful, unhappy and failing everything in school (this was a consistent honor roll student before now).
I am will rested! Been in or near the bed for most of the past year. Not much work happening on the house, I'm tired. It's stretched on for tooo long, I've gotten used to living in a half finished house.
I still get that weird pain in my lower abs and down into my legs. After 12 doctors visits and 10 different diagnoses I am determined to not go back to the doctor, so I just deal with the pain. Its part of my normal.
I share all this to set the stage you you can uunderstand where I am when I say I AM CLAIMING MY MIRACLES!
Mr first miracle is that I'm still alive. Even with the faith and hope and optimism that thought always seems to come knocking. In my book I include techniques for transmuting such thoughts. I use my own techniques every day.
My next miracle is my book. I've tried unsuccessfully to write for years and never seemed to finish anything. CFS brain fog does not help. Yet my book poured out of me in 6 days. I was writing up to 17 hours a day..unthinkable. Nothing short of a miracle to me.
The other miracle was the content of the book, it really just came to me as I wrote. I learned so many lessons as I was writing, I'd like to do a hardcopy of my book and keep it by my bed. I will need to refer to it over and over. How amazing that this could come out of me, when I have not yet learned some of the lessons? It is called inspiration. It is called grace.
In the last week I have done the graphical design for my book and website. I setup the website, a facebook page, twitter account and blog. All in one week! Note I have been trying to do a one page website for my professional profile (IT) for a year now and always gave up in frustration because I cant seem to concentrate long enough to get it right. How amazing that I am able to do all this now.
And I'm telling you I am feeling the exhaustion. Even when I try to pray my brain refuses to hold onto a thought, I keep having to start over. I am not in remission. I am under grace.
Sometimes it seems like I might be crazy. How can I write about claiming prosperity when I am broke and flat on my back in bed? How can I see myself speaking and writing and inspiring people? Do I even have a chance of being able to do this consistently?
And then the voice that I've worked so hard to learn to recognize very quietly chimes in. 'One day at a time, one step at a time you can do this.'
As I write I have no idea how the bills will be paid next week and the anxiety follows me doggedly. But I'm getting better at simply holding on to faith. Anxiety, worry, depression, fear .. they're losing their power in my life because I am claiming a greater power.
I step forward in faith. I did it, I put the book out there, I've told all my friends about it. Giving up now is not an option.
And I do believe it will be OK. I believe that miracles do happen. I believe that miracles are already happening.
My dear DS friends we are such a varied group, our challenges run the gamut of human experience. Yet we are blessed to have each other. I bless you my dear friends. Claim your miracles.
Replies
You should TOTALLY claim your miracles. What has happened in your life while writing this book is proof that miracles DO happen.
I\'m am awed by your humbleness, Max. I\'m sure you are a gifted writer, stifled by CFS and exhaustion, brain fog, depression....yet God has given you the grace to succeed in this thing. He wants to you to have this accomplishment. He has given you the strength and stamina to do it, and you have done it! PTL!
I want to know when and how to get a copy of your book. I hold you up in prayer dear friend. You are giving God the credit. He is the One who has enabled you to make your dream come true. He always is! xo