Christmas Eve ruminations but things are good.:)
It’s curious, being back in LA has really challenged and sparked awareness about how I’m self referencing. It seems kind of different from the monastery to here. I guess that's obvious and also natural for that phenomenon to be happening.
It’s so beautiful and nice here but I’m strong enough now that I’m not throwing away or abandoning my life in Maryland to the curb. I value my life and all that's in it.
I’m finding the more I am here the more I get worried about not being all the things I am supposed to be in life and society. It's a self referencing lesson for sure. I have that in a different way in Maryland as you know. It's a natural thing in each of us I think no matter where we are or what our lives look like.
It was a leap of logic for me today that here i questioned why do I have the feeling or the impulse to be everything I'm supposed to be but not the talent for that reality? That too is a side of human nature and a commonality.
I have my own version of that in terms of how I was at the monastery snug and caring for my world. Ownership of my life there.
Again I’ve realized we all deal with that reality or juxtaposition about being who we are supposed to be and our aspirations and talents, the drive and reality. The comradery that we all have that complex at times.
To see every one have to deal with that reality in life and desires to boot is breaking down a wall and making a comfort for me and an appreciation is coming to me big time. I'm relaxed.
Things are good.
I’m more in tune with my Dad and stepmom now and what they’re experiencing in life.
To deal with my vulnerability, I've tended to bury myself in self definition and my appetite is huge. Giving that awareness is good.
I’m ok. I’m just enjoying my parents and the good times we’re having. Merry Christmas you guys.
Again I'm relaxed now because in part I know I have to firm up inside to self define and though I can take that to an extreme I also know then dealing with actual feelings I have to do, as we all do.
Replies
my personal favorite thing about traveling is that change in self i feel when i am in different environments. don't ask me to pick a favorite. none are better. none are worse. just different.
be sure you carry your documents. i hear things are a tad icey in cali.
Thanks Arfie!! I’m just worried about my social media history! Eep!
I'm so glad that you're enjoying time with the folks
Merry Christmas Marky and Arf
I hope that you have a lovely day
Sending hugs...xo
Thanks Janet!!
Good Christmas Eve Evening, Mark! I'm so glad you're enjoying time with family. Sleep well tonight. Holiday hugs!
Thanks Susan!! xx
Merry Christmas Susan and everyone!!!
social media history? i find myself shocked at the thought of social media having a history. is it a virtual history? does virtual still mean, "almost?"