choose joy, choose happy!

Today I came home from work, and after a little bit, while going about tasks, I

started to feel really down on myself and depressed - but I stopped myself,

I realized where it started within me -

it was because I felt I disappointed in myself for

falling short in something I was doing.

The darkness really started to be engendered within - and that's when I caught it -

and realized I could break the attitude - adjust it - I decided I was going to choose happy -

and choose joy as well...

that decision really inspired me...and it lifted my perspective and mood and gave me a sense of power.

I decided to go out for a coffee after doing the dishes and I brought my mug to save the waste of a paper cup.

Right before going out - I watched part of a show that really transported me

- the BBC Travel Show- in "San Sebastian" Basque country, Spain.

I saw, on it, just some really fun, warm people enjoying good drink and tapas - and it seemed so fun -

and I wished to be able to go out there and enjoy fun, warm people and good food as well so easily!

This put me in touch with some really essential stuff. I felt uplifted because I was

inspired with my own sense of what makes me happy.

It's so often that 'external comparison' thing that goes on in my brain to make sure

I am doing things correctly or alright - especially because I have this health struggle -

really has a negative impact on my doing things that I really enjoy - As a result

my initial choices are discounted and feel like I'm not valuable to go with what I want alone

- and so I feel if I stay within the lines I won't mess up.

But I know I've got to own that and will.

Today's activity though has really brought that dichotomy front and center. Things are definitely feeling alright.

Sending peace and kharmic harmonics!!

Mark