Checks and No Checks and Stress Again

Very stressed again.  Two checks came in and I deposited them only to have Chase lose them and they have yet to appear in my account.  We have some IRS payments to make and I wanted to have money to assist my wife in payments - we are 2 days overdue and since the checks are not in the account yet, I am screwed, she is angry and I am pounding my chest again hoping to kill myself.  I have done damage internally as breathing is harder now so maybe I can succeed and take myself out of this misery.