Chat and update
I am finding it very difficult not having chat anymore. I liked chatting with some of my friends in the evening. I wish they would come up with some other chat. Yes, I know I have yahoo messenger and Skype but it’s not the same as when you are on DS and chatting.
Saw my psychologist today. We meet once a week. He is really helpful and supportive. He is by far the best therapist I have ever had. I believe because he is a psychologist and others were Social Workers (not to knock social workers).
Tomorrow I see the pdoc and I'm hoping he increases my Gabapentin again. It seems to be helping my anxiety.
Still feeling very stressed and anxious about the ever dooming October coming.
I am going to be pressuring my family doctor to send me to a rheumatologist about seeing if I have fibromyalgia. I am in so much pain everyday. All my joints and muscles are screaming in pain when I move or walk. Today I thought I was going to pass out again from the pain trying to take the buses and walking to the Hospital for my appointment. Tomorrow I go back to the hospital for my pdoc. I am lucky I was referred to the mental health hospital here because everything is covered and also if I need hospitalization it will be quick. I also start my CBT group next week at the hospital. I am hoping to learn alot, but not sure if I'll be able to stick it out six months. When we met a couple of weeks ago out of 11 people there was one woman who just would not shut up and went on and on about her own life, didn't answer questions properly. I hate to be a bitch but I can't stand people like her. It is all about her and we all don't want to hear every detail of her life. If all 11 of us were like that we'd get or will get no where with actually learning the skills.
I have scanned a few books into my computer to read. I have several I want to read on my borderline personality disorder. I want a better understanding of it, even though I do know what symptoms I have for the most part.
It has gotten very hot and humid here. I am finding it hard to function with my pain and the humidity. I did plant a few flowers a week ago and want to do some weeding and plant a couple more but my body just won't let me.
I found out if I apply to school and work once enrolled, I can get exempt from all my earnings to go towards school, but I just know mentally and physically I can't handle it. I wish I could qualify for loans....I really screwed myself by going bankrupt but I had so much debt I was drowning.
I am going to try my hardest to remain hopeful that I will get back one day, but I'm not getting any younger.
Sophie is still having problems with her leg and tonight whimpered in pain again. She is not limping really anymore, but is still walking bow legged. I just couldn't afford to take her back to the vet this month, but it is okay because I still have both medicines he wanted her to take. I will take her in the middle of June and see what he thinks at that point.
Saw my psychologist today. We meet once a week. He is really helpful and supportive. He is by far the best therapist I have ever had. I believe because he is a psychologist and others were Social Workers (not to knock social workers).
Tomorrow I see the pdoc and I'm hoping he increases my Gabapentin again. It seems to be helping my anxiety.
Still feeling very stressed and anxious about the ever dooming October coming.
I am going to be pressuring my family doctor to send me to a rheumatologist about seeing if I have fibromyalgia. I am in so much pain everyday. All my joints and muscles are screaming in pain when I move or walk. Today I thought I was going to pass out again from the pain trying to take the buses and walking to the Hospital for my appointment. Tomorrow I go back to the hospital for my pdoc. I am lucky I was referred to the mental health hospital here because everything is covered and also if I need hospitalization it will be quick. I also start my CBT group next week at the hospital. I am hoping to learn alot, but not sure if I'll be able to stick it out six months. When we met a couple of weeks ago out of 11 people there was one woman who just would not shut up and went on and on about her own life, didn't answer questions properly. I hate to be a bitch but I can't stand people like her. It is all about her and we all don't want to hear every detail of her life. If all 11 of us were like that we'd get or will get no where with actually learning the skills.
I have scanned a few books into my computer to read. I have several I want to read on my borderline personality disorder. I want a better understanding of it, even though I do know what symptoms I have for the most part.
It has gotten very hot and humid here. I am finding it hard to function with my pain and the humidity. I did plant a few flowers a week ago and want to do some weeding and plant a couple more but my body just won't let me.
I found out if I apply to school and work once enrolled, I can get exempt from all my earnings to go towards school, but I just know mentally and physically I can't handle it. I wish I could qualify for loans....I really screwed myself by going bankrupt but I had so much debt I was drowning.
I am going to try my hardest to remain hopeful that I will get back one day, but I'm not getting any younger.
Sophie is still having problems with her leg and tonight whimpered in pain again. She is not limping really anymore, but is still walking bow legged. I just couldn't afford to take her back to the vet this month, but it is okay because I still have both medicines he wanted her to take. I will take her in the middle of June and see what he thinks at that point.
Replies
Hi Mystie, I read over your message fast, I see my couselor today and I am sorry for not saying much although I feel bad we can\'t IM much and I don\'t like the situation since it\'s difficult although I love to email or email here, but many love to IM more. Your friend!
((((((((((((mystie)))))))))))))
It sounds like you\'re having a very rough time, mystie...I am really so sorry to hear all of this. It has to be overwhelming for you. :(
Losing the Meebo chat bar hurts here, too. But I guess this means I have incentive to use my Skype account now (someday I should post a photo of the headphones I have for the rare audio/video call, one of my friends says I look like Mickey Mouse in them).
The weather has gotten pretty bad up here too...hot, humid, really a dog to go outside in. Hoping that it breaks soon.
I hope things get better for you. I will start making a habit of being available on Skype for you.
Hi mystie. Are you in a hospital program? How long is it? You are right, and you\'re not a bitch...if everyone was like that one woman nothing wd get done. I hope you like the program.
I am sorry your joints and muscles hurt so bad. Fibromyalgia you think?
It\'s getting hot here too..yesterday I out the AC on.
Proud if u for putting flowers in..that\'s something I wd do all the time..tame the annuals and put in the perennials. Take pics for me.
I never did meebo chat here..since I use my phone..but I know folks r upset...I bet they did away w it due to cost.
Also, I\'m glad u like your psychologist..my counselor...a psychologist too says a good support system is very important. What I think for us mystie is just some hope for the future wd make us feel better.
Also glad Sophie has her meds. If I ever strike it rich..she and you will be covered for sure.
Thank you everyone for your kind words. It is nice to know I have friends and support on here; something that is lacking in my life here at home.
I am glad to still be able to chat with a few friends on Skype or Yahoo. I also have a few phone numbers and have talked to a couple of people.
I find it difficult to be hopeful of the future. I feel like I\'m drowning in my life and can\'t see the top of the water to get out and breathe.
I will message each of you!!!
(((((GROUP HUG))))))
Aww Sweetie so very sorry all your going thru I know how hard it is not having support at home I will always be here for you our sun is out today I need warm weather for my bones I hope you get checked out & see whats causing your pain.
((((Tons of Love))).
i was very upset at first when they took off the chat ......................it took me a while to get use to it and it isent right that they took off this feature as it is what the sickesest of us needed the most even when i was worse and i was up late at night 3 in the morning there was always someonde always on there to talk to you so you could make it through the night ..........................i come on line on mondays wensdays and fridays after 6 and i am on my mesanger for eneyone who wants to talk that way ................it is better than nothing .................i am happy to see you have a new doctor to see and that you like him he schould be able to help you better .............i hope they find out what is wrong with you so they can treat it ..............and you can get feeling better ...........i am happy to here you were refered to the mentill health hospital i see a phicatrist every 3 months now ..............i have for the past 8 years going on 9 years now i just cant seam to break this depreshion but i have my head above watter so that will have to do for now ...............it is good you can finaly get everything covered................and if you feel you need to go to hospital dont weaight to long to go you have to keep on top of depreshion ...............i know i do ....................will there not be someone running the meatings you are going to so that doesent happen ware one person takes over ..............it is always to know more about what we are fighting it is good you are reading up on it ......................at least you got to plant some flowers you will be able to enjoy them when they flower .................th humiditie is very hard on me with my migrains i need to be in aircondisioning ........................i hope soffie gets better feels better and you to ....................well i wish you all the best and take care of your self take the time tobe kind to your self ........god bless