CHANGE, CHANGE, CHANGE...

It stopped raining!  Good grief...we had 7 inches total.  CRAZY!  I have to go to the SS office tomorrow.  Seems like there is always one more thing that needs to be done in regard to Scott.  Of course, when it is all done, I am sort of afraid of a "what will I do now?" thing.  Guess I will eventually find out.  Since I have to be in Springfield I am going to meet some of my former co-workers for lunch.  I haven't seen them in several months.  They were, and continue to be, huge supporters of mine.  All day I have thought of Josh's family...the boy who was killed in an accident yesterday.  I know what the family is doing, what they are arranging, how crazy their world is....  My heart aches for them.  The visitation will be at the same funeral home as Scott's.  It is on Friday.  The way the home is set up I can just sign the book and be on my way without seeing the family or Josh.  If  that is what I have to do then that is what I will do.  Baby steps.   In a couple of weeks, Craig and I will go visit them.  Right now I know they have too much company, too much food, too many phone calls, too many cards, too many decisions, and too many tears.   Talked to my Mom today.  Her cancer, colon, is still growing.  And, now, her heartbeat is irregular.  On the 24th of this month they intend to stop her heart and re-start it.  That is scary on a fairly healthy person.  I am very nervous about this.  It is yet another thing I cannot control.  I did gather some of my dust rabbits today.  WOW!  You can't even imagine.....  I still have so much more to do but at least I did some.  It took more than a day to get this way, it will take more than a day to change.  I haven't done any SERIOUS cleaning since the day before Scott died.  My son Chris told me to just chisel at it a little at a time and it will be done at some point.  Of course, I have kept things sort of picked up but the REAL dirt...the hidden dirt, not so much.  Here's hoping for a sunny, dry, day!