Center cannot hold
Today's outting was really great.
in the aftermath or after glow of having had a wonderful experience and having been to wonderful place, I found myself raging with energy inside but very keen to have a sense of logic and ownership of myself. It's not so good. But it's the reaction I have to my condition, which makes me so keen to do this. I'm thinking about the title of Elyn Saks book about her mental health journey called the "Center Cannot Hold."
That title illuminates for me that I am not alone with a variability and it gives me a theme or language to express it.
it seems that I have two parts to my illness. The part that is the illness and the part that is the reaction to it. I'll always have the challenge but I hope to gain some better habits in my reaction to it. Rather than think on
That I'll one day be cured or totally well, i will reconcile myself that I'll always have certain things which are a challenge to me. Everyone has that in one form or another. It's a life long journey. Keep on keeping on.
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Just checked out that book - sounds fascinating. Also, there's still an irrational part of me that believes I'll wake up one morning and be my old self - If the brain can change so quickly, it most certainly can get back to its former balanced state. I do know this is ridiculous reasoning. I read somewhere that 20 years from now, people will look back on this time and see our current treatments as "barbaric." So while there might not be a cure, hopefully treatment will get better in the future.
Thanks Susan! It’s a really wise perspective you have!!
Xoxoxo
Thanks sunshine!