CD11 update - will my cycle get cancelled ?

We'll I went for my U/S yesterday and things weren't really looking better.  My follie was over 15 so I got the ok to start my meds. I have to say, I don't remember them making me feel this bad after the first day but of course I still have my cold and deep down I know it might all be for nothing so that might be why I think it's worst.
I go back tomorrow morning to find out if we are cancelling or not. I know I should be thinking that if it's not the right time then it's ok to cancel.  Problem is, at this point I figure if my lining isn't good enough than it probably never will be. I don't think I have the heart to give up just yet  but at what point do I have to say we've tried everything and it isn't working. They told be 5 1/2 years ago that it would be really hard for me to get a BFP, then some said I shouldn't even try. 
I've had 3 surgeries in the past year and my RE said that after the last one my lining was the best she's seen it so far, but that's not good enough. Iknow it's silly but I think a BFN would be easier to take for me then a cancelled cycle.  Just not being good enough to even try seems so final to me.
I'm trying to stay positive.  I even jumped up and down on my bed with my son today in hopes to get the liquid out.  OK, you can all laugh at me but what is a girl to do to help things come out. I'm out of ideas at this point.
Thanks for all your support.  Your posts are what is keeping me going right now.  I'm not getting much support for the few friends that know about my cycle and just don't get it.
Hugs.