Can we ever relax?
On another site (thinnertimes.com) someone asked if we can ever relax in regards to our life with food and the choices of it... My response is below. I felt it worth saving because it teaches me something about myself :)
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For me... one thing that makes a difference is if I choose to eat something outside the norm, or if I wonder what happened AFTER I eat something off plan...
If I am making a conscious choice, figured it in, tracked it... DECIDED to have it, and I mean gave it real thought, then I am ok with doing it. Even if it means i will find my balance a few pounds heavier than some would consider "goal weight".... This is my choice and decision made with thought and consideration.
But when I eat for all the wrong reasons (emotional, etc).... or i nibble because "its there" or I tell myself to NOT eat something and I eat it anyways, when I (Now, I've not done this since before surgery!) find a bag of chips gone and wonder what happened!? Or three days of wrappers, containers, etc all empty... and know I checked out of myself to devour them and stuff emotions... well... this is the stuff I have to remain FOREVER DILIGENT about! These are the things I'll NEVER be able to turn my back on... or relax around.... Because I am a food addict and if I am not careful and aware pretty much all the time, then I slip... and fall, and stumble, and bang my head, and do REALLY DUMB STUFF! And worst of all... I will hide away from myself out of shame and guilt. THIS is what I want to (and I hope am) recover from!
Dee mentioned our fat cells.... My NUT told me eons ago that for ex-fatties, our fat cells, they deflate, but do NOT go away... and that they will FOREVER MORE scream for us to fill them back up. That we will NEVER be like folks who were never fat in this regards... We must always remain vigilant and show them who's in charge
I am a work in progress.... lately I feel like I've been struggling to stay on top of my "stuff" and not slip... Some days its all I can do to hang on it seems.... but hang on I do!
*********************************************************
For me... one thing that makes a difference is if I choose to eat something outside the norm, or if I wonder what happened AFTER I eat something off plan...
If I am making a conscious choice, figured it in, tracked it... DECIDED to have it, and I mean gave it real thought, then I am ok with doing it. Even if it means i will find my balance a few pounds heavier than some would consider "goal weight".... This is my choice and decision made with thought and consideration.
But when I eat for all the wrong reasons (emotional, etc).... or i nibble because "its there" or I tell myself to NOT eat something and I eat it anyways, when I (Now, I've not done this since before surgery!) find a bag of chips gone and wonder what happened!? Or three days of wrappers, containers, etc all empty... and know I checked out of myself to devour them and stuff emotions... well... this is the stuff I have to remain FOREVER DILIGENT about! These are the things I'll NEVER be able to turn my back on... or relax around.... Because I am a food addict and if I am not careful and aware pretty much all the time, then I slip... and fall, and stumble, and bang my head, and do REALLY DUMB STUFF! And worst of all... I will hide away from myself out of shame and guilt. THIS is what I want to (and I hope am) recover from!
Dee mentioned our fat cells.... My NUT told me eons ago that for ex-fatties, our fat cells, they deflate, but do NOT go away... and that they will FOREVER MORE scream for us to fill them back up. That we will NEVER be like folks who were never fat in this regards... We must always remain vigilant and show them who's in charge
I am a work in progress.... lately I feel like I've been struggling to stay on top of my "stuff" and not slip... Some days its all I can do to hang on it seems.... but hang on I do!
Replies
Thank you for posting this. It realy hit home. I agree with you. The choises we make it up to us, if we want to eat it or not. If we want to take control is up to us.
I feel like this now on my preop diet.. I just want to go eat everything in site but know I can\'t.. for me and my future