Can't think straight...

I'm about to have a meltdown.... Want to scream,  cry, and just completely fall apart... But at the same.... I feel... Empty? I don't even know... I don't want to really talk about what has me so upset.. I just want to sleep... but I'm scared to.. I feel like I am falling apart... If what I'm worried about happens..... I don't know how long I'll be able to stay strong... Just in the time it's taken to write this I'm already crying.... I don't know what to do... Suicide, hurting myself, it's all sooooo tempting.... Just want to disappear....