Can't stand this ....

Something needs to change... and soon... very soon... I can not continue like this. Constantly I'm wondering if he's flirting with other women right under my nose - on his cell phone ! I'm fairly sure he is, and it kills me that I feel like he is doing that... but of course he won't admit it to me. If I ever dare to confront him about it, of course I'm the damn bad guy ! He's NEVER EVER the bad guy ! Of course NOTHING is EVER his fault ! Oh hell no ! 

Even when something is obviously his damn fault, he'll still manage to either blame ME for it... OR he'll name off someone else, and lay the blame on them ! 

It must be nice to live in a fairy land where you're always right... always doing everything perfectly.... and no matter what goes wrong... no matter what terrible things you do... none of it is EVER your fault !!!!!!

It's such pure bull shit ! 

Tonight has been so damn aggravating ! He stomped off to the bedroom at around 9:30 pm !.... closing the bedroom door, of course... so I can't know what he's up to in there ! 

I know already that if I dared to ask him in the morning about what he was doing in there this evening, that I would be completely " in the wrong " ! I would instantly be the " bad guy " just for asking about it ! 

It's not right, of course... and completely unfair... but what can I do about it ????? 

Nothing I say to him EVER has any real affect as far as his behavior goes. 

Nothing I say ever seems to sink in as far as him realizing how much his actions hurt me ! 

I wish for once he would understand how his actions affect me !