Can't Sleep....

It's almost 7 AM... and I've been awake now since about 5:30 AM - I think. Honestly, I'm not quite sure because in my " half-awake " state I didn't really pay much attention what time it was when I got up to use the bathroom, and get some water. All I know is that once I took care of those things, and came back to my recliner, I decided that there was just no way I could go back to sleep.... IF you can call what I was doing " sleep ", that is. 

From the moment I tried to go to sleep last night, my mind hasn't shut off for even one moment. So that hasn't given my body a chance to shut down enough to fall asleep. 

When I tried to close eyes to sleep, my thoughts were filled with an awful mix of what I went through yesterday because of the open mri exam, and then what I went through because of " him " once I was home from that appointment. 

Originally when I had first got home from the open mri appointment, he was as " sweet " as could be. I guess I should have known that it wouldn't last. 

It wasn't until later in the evening when he had a full-blown raging fit, but the time it happened wasn't the issue. His supposed " reason " for going completely psycho on me was completely ridiculous ! 

It was ALL because I stood up for myself ! 

When I was reaching over to lift my laptop off of my side table, I had said some small comment about it probably being almost dead / battery-wise from being unplugged.... and then OUT OF THE BLUE he viciously starts to completely over-react about me " touching " the power cord ! 

He claimed I was " pushing on it " too much, and I was going BREAK IT... like I according to HIM had done with OTHER power cords before ! He said that he was not going to pay for another power cord if I broke that one ! 

I simply said that I had never " broken " ANY power cords, because the issue was mostly that " other " problem ( the connection where the power cord is plugged into, going bad )... and NOT because of how anyone had handled the power cord ! 

As soon as I said the slightest thing to defend his accusation that I was solely responsible for ALL of the PAST power cords going bad, he started going completely psycho !.... and as his " usual ", this ended up in him physically attacking me... yet again ! 

I'm so.... so... so... so... sick of it ! .... 

I'm so TIRED of him believing that he's justified in physically hurting me for even the " slightest " imagined wrong that he says I've done ! I'm NOT a punching bag..... I don't deserve this !... 

I don't need this.... 

I've NEVER EVER deserved this !