.can't figure it out today
can't figure it out today, but maybe because of that I am feeling so low or just nihilistic.
I saw my therapist yesterday and I think she was in a bad mood, having a bad day or pissed off at me.
I don't really know but she was kind of nay saying a lot and in retrospect I don't know if she was suggesting
I was barking up the wrong tree or if it was just what it was.. a bad day for her. Therapists are people too...
though they tend to want to be in command of the conversation and we go to them for (I don't know what ) reassurance, healing -
a different set of skillsets in shifting our own perspective so that we can deal when confusing emotions come up.
Now I feel like I am sounding not so good. I am sorry if I am being a grouch or flippant. All I know is, for right now, how I usually deal with my mood, loneliness or puzzlement - it's not working and I can't figure it out. Feel like I've just got to survive and be patient, forward moving. Not sure if I should give her a call, I take inspiration from you guys who keep forward moving and creating good stuff - even in the bad times. Felt kind of like a half a person, empty inside - but writing here makes me feel whole, kind of.
Replies
Mark - Your TDoc was probably having a bad day. My TDoc had a bad day. About a month ago, and it put off my entire week. So I know what you mean. I can get into the same moods as you. I was nihilistic for months last year. Nothing could break me out of my blue funk. It eventually went away when I finally worked through some stuff with the TDoc. The seeds are still there, but the cause is less.
So what is bothering you, Mark?
ALL the therapists I have respected enough to ask, no exceptions, have told me they, too, have therapists, sometimes for the strictly personal psych issues that got them studying psychology in the first place. Sometimes for the hazards of the trade of dealing with mental health issues all day, every day. Sometimes both. They also are frequently active members of peer support groups --as peers in need of help. They guard their anonymity with especially jealous care lest they be reduced to group guru.
Whatever the evers of those whats, it is a fair body of questions for the next therapy session. I get much more accurate data from asking than from guessing. My mind reading skills suck. I'm not above the flim flam of letting a mark think I can, though. I won't even charge you for the fun. Well. . . Prolly not, anyway. People tend to be more impressed when you charge big for the flim flam. In addition to getting more accurate data, the topic is important one in managing social anxiety. Or, at least it was/is in my case.
Continuing down that path, I none-of-my-business hope that you are making a list of questions and doubts to carry to the next session. They are fair questions, my fellow questioner. The kinds of questions you are paying the pro to help you sort. It's fair to make her earn her paycheck.
Thanks guys!!
I think when that happens and you feel your tdoc is mad at you or in a bad mood, you should tell her she's making you uncomfortable and why. She may not be aware that she was making you uncomfortable and communication is key. It's better than having a whole week until your next visit wondering what was wrong.
thanks becky!