Can't Escape the Past

I have f-d up so many situations and hurt so many people along the way. My mind is filled with memories of past events gone wrong. They haunt me waking and sleeping, I dream about the past and wake up feeling like hell. And there is nothing I can do about any of it. I live absorbed in shame and guilt. I keep so much hidden. It's hell being me.

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

There is only one thing you can do. Forgive yourself. You will not be able to move forward until you so. the past is gone. It is over. We have nothing but this moment and hope for the future. You are reborn each day. God forgives you. If it helps to hear it, I forgive you. Who am I? Just a friend who has made many mistakes herself and can\'t change them either. We are human and do the best we can at the time. We are fallible and sometimes we are incredibly stupid. Learning from mistakes is the human condition. Sounds like you learned. Stop beating yourself up. You hae helped me and been a friend! --Gem
deleted_user
deleted_user

Guilt and regrets can become a vicious cycle. It\'s sad because in this day and age, there is no way to get a fresh start or a clean slate. People with depression also have a tendency to feel guilty for things they shouldn\'t feel guilty for in the first place. Put yourself in the other person\'s shoes. Was what you did actually a big deal to them? Are they still thinking about it? Was it a monumental moment in their life? Was there any blood shed over it? Probably not.

There have been people that I have hurt in the passed. If you\'re living life, you\'re going to hurt people, make mistakes, and wish you would have done some things differently. That means that you have learned from your past. People who say that they don\'t have any regrets either don\'t have a conscience, haven\'t learned anything in life, or are probably lying.

The one thing that I have problems with is when others dig up the past. It seem like other people want to define you by who you were and not who you are or who you are trying to be. I try to remind them that I had made mistakes, learned from them, and I\'m not who I was because of it. I don\'t know. It doesn\'t make me feel any better, but I think that I\'m going in the right direction.

Big, big hugs my friend.