Can\'t Do It Anymore

I feel completely broken.  I am so tired of dealing with everything.  I am back in one of my depressed moods and I am scared.  I know it will go away soon, but it only comes back.  I am tired of living like this and I just feel like giving up.  When I get in one of these moods, it always ends in crisis before it starts getting better.  Usually I cut or think about suicide when I have been in the depressed mood for a while.  It scares me because it feels like I can't control myself when this happens.  It's like someone else is doing it and I am just watching.  Every time this happens I am afraid that something worse than a scar on my wrist will result, but I don't know what to do.   I have been keeping a mood chart for the past ten days.  It isn't long enough to learn anything from yet.  Because of this, it isn't very helpful so far.  But I'm sure that later on it will help me learn more about myself.  I also tried talking to friends.  But now there is nothing left to say.  I would just be repeating everything and I don't know how that would help.  Plus, my best friend is having family problems and I don't feel like bothering her. This is why I came here.  I'm hoping that writing it out will help it get better.  If anyone has any comments please write them here or send me a message.  I like to hear from people who might be able to help me fix this..