Can't believe what my parents said, :(
I'm so UPSET right now, i just had to share, I can't believe what my parents said to me last night...
As most of you know, I haven't had much family support with my grief process, but have accepted that is what it is, but last night was too much.
Granted my parents are 85, i was telling them about my phone call and how upset it made me when a bill collector wouldn't shut up about getting money form Greg as he passed, well I told them what I told the caller about 'Good luck, he's passed and if you want money you'd better knock on heavens door...
My parents just looked at me and had the nerve to say, "Heaven? You know Greg isn't in Heaven, he's probably down there and pointed to the ground". I was and still am furious, here they sat and judged and sentenced my son to Hell? Because of things he's done in the past? I started crying and said I just can't believe this and left. I'm ready to just CANCEL the Holidays, as it's going to take me forever to get over this one.
But then I sit here this morning and once again forgive them for their ignorance. Who are they? I love them but they don't even go to church, nor have ever discussed beliefs. SO I KNOW MY SON IS IN HEAVEN, he and I talked a lot before he passed and he even asked God for forgiveness on things he'd done in the past. Just had to VENT and can't wait to share this with my pastor and ask his advice...
Thanks for listening you all are WONDERFUL and if I didn't have my FAITH I wouldn't have been able to go on, the only that kept me going, was the fact that I will see Greg again...
Greg's mom, Julie
As most of you know, I haven't had much family support with my grief process, but have accepted that is what it is, but last night was too much.
Granted my parents are 85, i was telling them about my phone call and how upset it made me when a bill collector wouldn't shut up about getting money form Greg as he passed, well I told them what I told the caller about 'Good luck, he's passed and if you want money you'd better knock on heavens door...
My parents just looked at me and had the nerve to say, "Heaven? You know Greg isn't in Heaven, he's probably down there and pointed to the ground". I was and still am furious, here they sat and judged and sentenced my son to Hell? Because of things he's done in the past? I started crying and said I just can't believe this and left. I'm ready to just CANCEL the Holidays, as it's going to take me forever to get over this one.
But then I sit here this morning and once again forgive them for their ignorance. Who are they? I love them but they don't even go to church, nor have ever discussed beliefs. SO I KNOW MY SON IS IN HEAVEN, he and I talked a lot before he passed and he even asked God for forgiveness on things he'd done in the past. Just had to VENT and can't wait to share this with my pastor and ask his advice...
Thanks for listening you all are WONDERFUL and if I didn't have my FAITH I wouldn't have been able to go on, the only that kept me going, was the fact that I will see Greg again...
Greg's mom, Julie
Replies
so sorry for your parents........ my mother will not join me today to toast Morgan,,,,but it\'s alright....parents do not always think,,, I hope they thought about what they said after you left,,,,,I pray they do... love ya!
Putting my personal views aside here, I feel sorry for your elderly parents. To believe so strongly that their grandson is in hell must haunt them every day. To have the ability to see the whole world in such black and white terms must be so limiting for them.
On the flip side, as a daughter, who desperately holds to the firm belief that her child is in heaven, those words probably rocked you deeply, even just for a moment. I am so sorry. It\'s one thing to deal with a severe lack of support on the journey you find yourself on, (I completely understand as I have been abandoned by all but two people) its a completely different thing to have your parents say what they did. I am glad you were able to, so quickly, forgive. That is not your burden to bear, it is theirs.
Tight hugs, thank you for sharing and venting. It makes it easier for others to give themselves permission to vent when they really need to!
Merrilee
Julie I am so sorry you had to hear those hurtful words & especially from your parents. Some people just don\'t realize how painful what they say can be. For you to say you forgive them is a loving kind thing you are doing for yourself. I\'m learning about forgiveness too & that it\'s not for the one who hurt us, but for us. That we just choose to let it go. I admire you Julie & your strong faith. I hope that knowing you will see Greg again gives you the strength to hang in there.
Take care.....Vicki
So sorry for the hurtful words. Some people don\'t think before speaking. I had a long time close friend tell me that \"only those who cry out to Jesus in the moment of their death go to Heaven\". Really? What about our all loving, all forgiving God? My son lived a good life, was a great son and friend, never harmed anyone, and you want to tell me he didn\'t go to Heaven! I think not!! I know that is where he is with my mom and dad. I am glad you could forgive your parents, do what you feel is best for the holidays. I personally couldn\'t care less about the holidays and my son is bah humbug, so we go to the beach. We moved away from remaining family a year ago, so it is just him and me and our dog in Florida. Getting together in a crowd is hard...presence of his absence... sending love your way. Sue xo
Hello, Julie. I have experienced similar comments from my mother. I have even had to detach from her to avoid her cruel comments. we know our loving God has brought our children into his kingdom. Rest in that belief Julie. Our loving God has not turned our boys away. I know this from the many signs and winks I get from Ed.sending love and hugs and understanding, Linda, Ed\'s mom
It is ignorance and a loose tongue that create such hurtful comments. What is to be gained from that?
I\'m with Linda and just detach as much as you can and know that what they say could not be further from the truth. We are all welcomed home by a loving and non judgmental Spirit and what that says is that they believe Spirit is a punitive parent and not an all embracing and loving BE-ing.
I\'m SO sorry as I know how those kinds of comments cut like a knife. See it for what it is from parents who are in the \"dark\" and know no better.
Loving care to you and your beloved Greg.
XO Joanie
Thanks for venting it feels go to see someone else just let it out. Sorry for the hurtful comments that you received. Thinking of you and your son...HUGS!!
Sherry