Busy Day

Ive been busy all day sending out resumes and looking at my schooling options. I also have a growing ball of anxiety rising up inside me.  My stbx is going out of town with her boyfriend.  I thought I would be ok with it. After all I get the kids all weekend which is nice. But ever since last night, the anxiety in my chest and belly is just growing and growing.  My chest is very tight and its hard to breathe.  My belly is sick and as usual I cant eat.  Oh well ive lost 35+ pounds already, might as well finish off the last 15 I had on me. I just wish she wasnt so damn involved with this guy already. I mean geez dating him is one thing at this point, heck im going out on a date on tuesday. But travelling with him already?  Fucking guy has money and is using all his resources to just charm the socks of her. Why wouldnt he? She is a very good looking, young, successfull woman.  Except that she is fucked up emotionally and will screw him over in the end, if he doesnt screw her over first. Anyways on the school front im having trouble deciding what to do.  I really really want to get involved with a career that helps people.  I thought about social work. I would be great at that job. Especially working with the elderly or teenagers.  But its at least 4 years of school.  Id be 41 at the earliest when I finish.    There are several good options at the Tech school in town. Nursing sticks out to me. But the damn wait lists for most the medical programs is 3-7 years. My God!   Nursing would be no sooner than 2010, though most likely 2011.  Id be 40 and its a 2 year program!~! So im not sure what im going to do yet.  I'll figure something out. I really want to work with people and feel like im making some difference in the world.  Thats the only way im going to find long term happiness.