buses

Everyday, it seems I have a memory or set of memories that I focus on specifically.  The mood of the memories color my day.  This morning, as I was waking up, I was remembering how I ran late to pick him up from the bus stop.  On this particular Friday, I was sick and going to the Dr.'s office.  After that appointment, I had to buy everything for my younger son's 7th birthday party.  In doing that, I lost track of time.  My husband was taking the bus back from the University and I forgot that he didn't have his car at the bus station on our side of town.  To save the money, he drove his car to the bus station on our side of town and then took the bus to school.  It saved us the gas money and the high cost for a parking decal at the campus.  But on this Friday, everyone was running late, so I took him to school and his car was not at the bus station. When I'd pass the bus station, I'd feel so guilty about this memory.  I started to remember this, unwillingly as I was barely waking up.  The memories just come, and its not something that can be controlled.  He walked to the KFC close to the bus stop to wait for me and when I went to pick him up, my first instinct was to be defensive.  Like, I was at the dr. office.  My cough was bad, so I got x-rays done which also took time...and I had to do all the shopping for the birthday party-food and gifts with my baby in tow and my older son who was not feeling well.  I forgot about the car...I didn't hear my phone.  Really.  But I remember feeling lead by God to NOT be defensive.  And I could really sympathize with Aaron.  Only God could do that.  Take the focus off myself and put it on my husband.  So when I picked him up, I just really apologized for my mistake and didn't fight at all.  I can remember just apologizing with kindness  and sympathy it diffused any bad feelings.  I was so grateful to remember that part of the memory.  Whenever I'd pass the bus stop and KFC, I would feel tortured for that day.  But this morning, I remembered clearly, that it ended up being ok that day.  He forgave me. Then I remembered another time we spent together:
It was another day where I was missing work, but I don't remember why.  We dropped off the boys for school and just had our baby with us.  I was taking him to school, but we stopped for a quick breakfast at Whataburger right by the UT campus, so he could just walk from there.  I wish I could remember what we talked about.  I think he was talking about the preparation for a paper he had to write for his Anthropology class.  He was really enjoying that class.  Then it was time to go.  We got the baby into the car and he took his book bag out.  I felt disappointed that he had to go.  I think I probably was trying to get him to skip class, but he couldn't miss.  Did I get to hug him?  I don't remember...but maybe I did.  I was going to see him in a few hours when I picked him up so why did I feel so sad when I had to say good bye to him?  I wish today, like I do on most days, that I could travel back in time...