Burden and Darkness
I'm feeling like such a burden. Like people would be so much happier if it wasn't for me. I feel like I'm a burden to my family, friends, boyfriend and even myself. If it wasn't for me they wouldn't be worrying so much about how I am.
I'M FINE (don't ask). Are you really? YES (no). Are you thinking of hurting yourself? NO (possibly sometime soon). How are your relationships with people? GOOD (I don't like being around people who don't get me). Are you able to really talk about this to someone? SURE (I'll say sure if it makes you feel good). Is this helping you in any way? YEP (are we done?). One last thing, are you dedicated in ending your pain? YES (which ways the bathroom so I can draw on my scars?).
The truth is, I'm not dedicated in ending my pain. Honestly all I want to do is forget about life and crawl into my comfortable infinite hole of darkness. This darkness is the only thing that makes me feel like me. Darkness is my friend.
Darkness is my friend.
Most people cringe when they get cut, I smile.
Most people prefer blue skies, I prefer clouds.
I get easily paranoid. I get easily hurt. I get easily confused.
And it doesn't take me long to feel like the waste the world wishes it could get rid of.
Don't worry world, I want to get rid of me too.
Yet some say they love me, some say I have a great future.
Some say my life is perfect, some say I'm perfect.
How will I ever be able to believe that? Anyways,
None of that matters when darkness is my friend.
I'M FINE (don't ask). Are you really? YES (no). Are you thinking of hurting yourself? NO (possibly sometime soon). How are your relationships with people? GOOD (I don't like being around people who don't get me). Are you able to really talk about this to someone? SURE (I'll say sure if it makes you feel good). Is this helping you in any way? YEP (are we done?). One last thing, are you dedicated in ending your pain? YES (which ways the bathroom so I can draw on my scars?).
The truth is, I'm not dedicated in ending my pain. Honestly all I want to do is forget about life and crawl into my comfortable infinite hole of darkness. This darkness is the only thing that makes me feel like me. Darkness is my friend.
Darkness is my friend.
Most people cringe when they get cut, I smile.
Most people prefer blue skies, I prefer clouds.
I get easily paranoid. I get easily hurt. I get easily confused.
And it doesn't take me long to feel like the waste the world wishes it could get rid of.
Don't worry world, I want to get rid of me too.
Yet some say they love me, some say I have a great future.
Some say my life is perfect, some say I'm perfect.
How will I ever be able to believe that? Anyways,
None of that matters when darkness is my friend.
Replies
That is terrible but beautifully written. Maybe darkness shouldn\'t be your only friend... You can always talk to me! I really hope you are okay, especially in the future... Your scars will be there forever... (DX I DON\'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY!) Um, I\'m your friend, and I am sure you will get through this.
Thanks for the comment, the part about my scars being there forever, is really emotional to think about. But the darkness is whispering \"Who cares if they\'re still there? You need this to be fine, or at least act fine.\" I really hate being stuck with my mind 24/7. Thanks for the encouragement, and thanks for being a friend :)