Bullshit

I think that I'm at the end of my rope.  With the holidays, no job, trying to be sober, trying not to think about a cigarette......shit, what the hell am I doing?  Why have I made my life so unhappy?  Why did I let people walk all over me until my life was ruined by them?  How could I have been so stupid?  Now I am nothing but a bitter, angry person who wishes that the next morning won't come.  I hate waking up and knowing I have to go through the motions all over again.