Bullied
Today I will work on the damage done by being bullied. I was bullied all through school by both boys and girls. The staff didn't take me seriously when I complained. On kid used to tell me he was going to kill me. When I told the teacher's aide, she just laughed at me. I didn't understand why she would do that. She was mean to me other times, too. Awful woman! This happened in 1977.
The next year we got a different teacher's aide who would get in my face when I started crying because I being picked on and tell me to stop crying. Crying is only for babies.
I was treated badly by staff, teacher's and students. I wasn't the only one. Several people were treated shabbily but the staff. It's a small school in a crappy little town. If you weren't good at or interested in sports, they thought you were a loser.
So it went that I was called names, had cruel pranks on me even hit on occasion. Nothing was done to stop it or to tone it down.
Many students go through this nightmare to this day. They have been implementing antibulling programs which is great. I wish these were around when I was in school.
This is so very deep damage I have carried for a long time. It's going to take a lot of work to heal that mess.
That's all I can handle now. If you have any suggestions on how to heal this amount of damage, I would love to hear it.
Replies
Jenn I know through experience school sucked, especially middle school. Through the years and I Mean Years of therapy I've learned the "Broken Record Syndrome" did not help me move forward with my life...meaning repeating all the injustice, abuse etc from kids and family.
Reliving the past over and over again kept me in a '''Blaming Cycle""" which did Nothing to help me learn 'what my part", how to cope better and to """"Make Changes Today""" to improve my life.
When I finally realized the 'energy of anger' took away my power of choice due to blaming that was a huge step towards healing and letting go. When one 'forgives' this doesn't mean that you are letting the person off the hook for what they did or didn't do, it means taking back """Your Power"""..... maybe talk to your therapist about this...not easy to do.
I had a lot of abuse growing up, once I had John I learned a lot about parenting by What I Didn't Want To Repeat that was done to me with John....I learned how to forgive my parents, not for what they did, but for their """humanness""" they just were not able to give me what I needed. I began to think about their childhood, they could not give what they didn't know or were never taught....This was a huge step for me!!
My own 'humanness' lead me to do bad parenting with John too....the difference is I said "I'm sorry, I love you, gave hugs, I'm proud of you, and asked for forgiveness"....these words/actions never came from my parents...they too were alcoholics.
Learn from the past, live in the present and prepare for the future <3 ((((Hugs))))
Thank you, Mary.
I know what you mean Jennifer same things happened to me.
I even had teachers bully me but 30 years later i still have trouble reaching out to people. I can't shake the belief that i'm not worth anything.
What a horrible thing to have happen. What's wrong with our schools.? I've lost faith in the human race a long time ago.