Brother phone calls
My brother calls for the third day in a row to ask me to help him do something with him. This is how he does it today.
Brother: Can you come pick me up to take me over to the house? (we are going to one of my fathers rentals to do some work. He lives only a couple miles form it I live about five and my brother lives a couple miles farther past the house we are going to)
Me: Why would I want to do that? I''d have to drive farther and spend more money.
Brother" It's only one street further it isn't that far. (I'm not sure how going one and a quurter miles further than I would have to go and back and then return him home and back is only one street further. It is more like five miles more to me. Hey it is just me I think about these things and try and be efficient and frugal.)
Me: (not wanting to argue) Ok, I don't know how that makes sense but ok.(and I hang up and go to ready myself to leave.)
Phone rings again. My brother then calls back and argues with me about having attitude about picking him up and accusing me of being mad about it. I ask if I sounded mad if id you think that is mad then you must not remember what I sound like when I'm mad at him. He continues to go on and says, that he is doing me a favor working at this house and shouldn't be getting attitude form me.
I think I have explained that attitude to my brother is not doing exactly what he ways and agreeing with everything he wants. If you question him or even make a face or do it slowlye or anything, raise an eyebrow, stop to tie your show, whatever, then you are giving him 'attitude.'
So anyway I start yelling at him, not 2wuite yelling but raise my voice on the phone. Because he isn't doing me a favor bothering me or even helping at the house. Its my father's house. He is helping take care of my father's property so that we can all make money. For some reason he thinks it is my house and the ones he gets rent form are his houses and so when he works on one he thinks is my house he is doing me a favor.
I reminded him that he told me he wanted to take care of the maintenance of the houses and this is more or less how he warrants being paid by my father. He doesn't like this. ANytime I bring up that he has been living off my parents for his whole life he gets defensive and then abusive. In the last few years he has the steady come back that I get money also, I have been getting money to live on from my parents for the last two to three years and this somehow makes up for the 30 years he has been living off them.
So he says he doesn't want to argue with me and I ask him why did he call me back then to argue with me. and he says he dint call to argue he called to say he dint need the attitude form me. I told him that is your argument. You called to start an argument about some perceived attitude I was giving you.
Then a few minutes after this he calls and says he called the tenant and she was sick so we were going to go over there tomorrow. Great another three completely unnecessary phone calls from my brother.
The whole attitude thing of his is so unbearable. I cna't win and he never lets up. Just the other day I was yeling and swearing at him because he just won't let up on me. I don't know how to deal with it. He always has to nit a pick and poke at me with every single tiny perceived slight that he perceives from me. I can't stop it by pleading with him to give me a break. or by nto talking to him or by argueing with him or avoiding him. There is no way to get him off my back.
I really don't know what to do. But I think I will have to start doing nothing with him. I'll tell him I won't help him with anything. I won't talk to him. I will avoid him as much as I can and maybe, just maybe he will get the message finally and stop riding me about everything. Wait that is what I am doing now. Except I do help when it has to do with my sister or father. But I'm not going to do anything for him personally anymore. I'm tired of it and have to stop it for my own peace of mind.
Brother: Can you come pick me up to take me over to the house? (we are going to one of my fathers rentals to do some work. He lives only a couple miles form it I live about five and my brother lives a couple miles farther past the house we are going to)
Me: Why would I want to do that? I''d have to drive farther and spend more money.
Brother" It's only one street further it isn't that far. (I'm not sure how going one and a quurter miles further than I would have to go and back and then return him home and back is only one street further. It is more like five miles more to me. Hey it is just me I think about these things and try and be efficient and frugal.)
Me: (not wanting to argue) Ok, I don't know how that makes sense but ok.(and I hang up and go to ready myself to leave.)
Phone rings again. My brother then calls back and argues with me about having attitude about picking him up and accusing me of being mad about it. I ask if I sounded mad if id you think that is mad then you must not remember what I sound like when I'm mad at him. He continues to go on and says, that he is doing me a favor working at this house and shouldn't be getting attitude form me.
I think I have explained that attitude to my brother is not doing exactly what he ways and agreeing with everything he wants. If you question him or even make a face or do it slowlye or anything, raise an eyebrow, stop to tie your show, whatever, then you are giving him 'attitude.'
So anyway I start yelling at him, not 2wuite yelling but raise my voice on the phone. Because he isn't doing me a favor bothering me or even helping at the house. Its my father's house. He is helping take care of my father's property so that we can all make money. For some reason he thinks it is my house and the ones he gets rent form are his houses and so when he works on one he thinks is my house he is doing me a favor.
I reminded him that he told me he wanted to take care of the maintenance of the houses and this is more or less how he warrants being paid by my father. He doesn't like this. ANytime I bring up that he has been living off my parents for his whole life he gets defensive and then abusive. In the last few years he has the steady come back that I get money also, I have been getting money to live on from my parents for the last two to three years and this somehow makes up for the 30 years he has been living off them.
So he says he doesn't want to argue with me and I ask him why did he call me back then to argue with me. and he says he dint call to argue he called to say he dint need the attitude form me. I told him that is your argument. You called to start an argument about some perceived attitude I was giving you.
Then a few minutes after this he calls and says he called the tenant and she was sick so we were going to go over there tomorrow. Great another three completely unnecessary phone calls from my brother.
The whole attitude thing of his is so unbearable. I cna't win and he never lets up. Just the other day I was yeling and swearing at him because he just won't let up on me. I don't know how to deal with it. He always has to nit a pick and poke at me with every single tiny perceived slight that he perceives from me. I can't stop it by pleading with him to give me a break. or by nto talking to him or by argueing with him or avoiding him. There is no way to get him off my back.
I really don't know what to do. But I think I will have to start doing nothing with him. I'll tell him I won't help him with anything. I won't talk to him. I will avoid him as much as I can and maybe, just maybe he will get the message finally and stop riding me about everything. Wait that is what I am doing now. Except I do help when it has to do with my sister or father. But I'm not going to do anything for him personally anymore. I'm tired of it and have to stop it for my own peace of mind.
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