Breathe Me

I wish more people read my journals like they used to. I post mostly for my own benefit, but I also sometimes like the suggestions and the help that comes from friends. I have been thinking a lot about suicide and I get scared that there really could go as far as to kill myself. My mom said that if one has the courage to kill themselves then they ca have the courage to live life. But, it is not about the courage its the pain that gets to me. I cant take the pain of life, I don't know how much longer I can take life when it's filled with pain. I don't want anymore pain.
 
I am scared of the future. I don't know whats going to happen and that scares me, I wish I could know now if I will be a success or a failure. Will I be independent or dependent? What is life supposed to bring to me? What's in it for me? Life is tapped out I don't know what else to do.
 
I've got to go.
 
Goodnight Moon.