Bossy Pants
Hi sisters,
Rereading my last post I felt like I might have seemed a bit bossy or controlling, that was not my intention at all. I just get so excited at the prospect of actually having a life, a different life, but a life nonetheless that when I come across books, etc. I can't wait to share them. I know it is hard to concentrate on reading at times, I can't always do it either. It just so happens the Magic is broken down into very short and to the point chapters and specific tasks to improve your life by becoming more grateful.
By the way, I can be bossy and controlling...I am just so very intense! When I lost Cassi and they wouldn't let me see her I was overcome with the feeling that if I could just get to her I could will life back into her. Such was my ego and my false sense of control...needless to say, I have been very humbled...yet I still have the instinct. When someone tells me they have a UTI, I go into details about what is causing it and what to do about it. That is just an example...it is somehow my instinct to want to fix the problems of others. This is not totally unselfish...it makes me feel good and also important...but I do care. I am empathic and can sense the emotional health of someone and want to jump in ad help. A sister posted a cartoon the other day listing things NOT to say to someone who is suffering in any way and it was similar to ours. One of the recommendations was that when someone is sick, don't get in their face with advice about alternative medicine or holistic healing...that if they want your advice they will seek it. I thanked her, because it was like looking in the mirror and seeing someone who needs to change.
So I am trying...trying to listen, just be there.
Thank you all for putting up with me!!!
Gina
P.S. Those 2 books really are awesome and important and powerful in helping us along this path. Also the author of "We Don't Die" gives you her personal e-mail and actually answers your e-mails and develops an interest in you! Isn't that awesome???!!!
Rereading my last post I felt like I might have seemed a bit bossy or controlling, that was not my intention at all. I just get so excited at the prospect of actually having a life, a different life, but a life nonetheless that when I come across books, etc. I can't wait to share them. I know it is hard to concentrate on reading at times, I can't always do it either. It just so happens the Magic is broken down into very short and to the point chapters and specific tasks to improve your life by becoming more grateful.
By the way, I can be bossy and controlling...I am just so very intense! When I lost Cassi and they wouldn't let me see her I was overcome with the feeling that if I could just get to her I could will life back into her. Such was my ego and my false sense of control...needless to say, I have been very humbled...yet I still have the instinct. When someone tells me they have a UTI, I go into details about what is causing it and what to do about it. That is just an example...it is somehow my instinct to want to fix the problems of others. This is not totally unselfish...it makes me feel good and also important...but I do care. I am empathic and can sense the emotional health of someone and want to jump in ad help. A sister posted a cartoon the other day listing things NOT to say to someone who is suffering in any way and it was similar to ours. One of the recommendations was that when someone is sick, don't get in their face with advice about alternative medicine or holistic healing...that if they want your advice they will seek it. I thanked her, because it was like looking in the mirror and seeing someone who needs to change.
So I am trying...trying to listen, just be there.
Thank you all for putting up with me!!!
Gina
P.S. Those 2 books really are awesome and important and powerful in helping us along this path. Also the author of "We Don't Die" gives you her personal e-mail and actually answers your e-mails and develops an interest in you! Isn't that awesome???!!!
Replies
One thing that I enjoy about most of your journals is just how passionate and caring you are towards everyone. You have the gift of being able to give love and that gift comes out in so many ways. I believe it comes across as wanting to help others as much as you can. I also agree with you that while we think we can fix everything, we find out just how little control we have over life in general when we lose a child. If ever we want to fix things, it is for the benefit of our child(ren). I don\'t think of that as being egotistical but rather continuing the role of trying to protect our child(ren.) I found it humbling to relinquish control of a child, as he/she grows up and especially when they leave home. I also found it humbling to lose a child. Thank you, Gina, for being you!
Sending love,
Leda
Were you bossy???? ust have missed that! lol
Love Love Love...passion passion passion is what I get from you...
Love you,
annm
Sharing where we find healing and well-being is certainly not being bossy in my opinion. lol! I do know that after being in my earth suit for sixty years what I have been learning is that I can feel very passionately about something, share it and then let the outcome go because it is up to the other to find their healing. If something comes in strongly for me about my family, a sister of the heart, a friend, I will share and say take it or leave it, yet I have found that it really can \"eat\" at me if I \"ignore\" that nudge.
Grateful you are finding your way and as I read long ago in one of my early grief books, \"None of us are meant to live in acute grief for a lifetime.\" Somehow we learn how to carry it and see with changed eyes and hearts how to be compassionate first towards ourselves and towards others.
Loving care dear Gina on this humbling walk of life. The older I become the LESS I feel I know. Just like those bumper stickers say about ask your \"teenager\" if you want to know all about life. lol! I remember those days too and am grateful to not BE there now.
Keep sharing as you are as I am listening!
Hand in hand and Heart to heart,
XO Joanie
I must have missed the \"bossy\" part as well, Gina! My first thought was how far you have come since we first met you here at FMO. I could go back and read my own journals from the beginning 6 1/2 years ago and see how far I have come myself! I loved your journal. I do understand about the controlling part. Having been alone now for so many years since divorce, I always feel like I have to have everything under control. Sometimes, I sincerely wish that I had someone else to make decisions for me. We have come so far on our journey, together. I haven\'t looked the books up yet, but have them written down to see if my library can get them. Thank you for suggesting them.
Peace XOXO Belinda
And I thought I was the Queen B of bossy!!! LOL!
You have never come across as \"bossy\" to me darlin! Passionate, YES! I LOVE that!
We are evolving and growing and learning amazing and exciting ways in which we heal and we are very passionate in sharing it all! I SOOOO appreciate anyone sharing what works (or doesn\'t) for them! I need all the tools in my grief tool box I can get!!
So, boss on beautiful!!
LOVE YOU!!
I sit here with the names of books that are recommended to get at the library. I am working today and will remember to bring the list with me. Thanks for the help on this path. We all need each other. Peace, Kathy
I didn\'t think you were bossy...I thought you were excited!!