Bones

I am so obsessive compulsive I am getting myself into trouble. I went to our new house, where we are slowly moving into, and noticed that everyone's bathroom had soap but mine. I know that my stepmother distributed the soap and I am wondering if she did it on purpose. I am in a bedroom with an on-suite bathroom; so was she just afraid to go into my bathroom? I am sure that is the case but I have to keep thinking about it. We are moving the entire house on Saturday and the emotions behind all of this are shaky as well and the fact that I have not been able to find a job makes me really upset. The suicidal thoughts are still there somewhat, however, have been settling nicely. Whenever I read in a book or see on the television anything about suicide or Bipolar, I think that it's me and that is what I should be feeling.  
 
I have always wondered what it would be like to call the suicide prevention hotline. What do we talk about? I feel more comfortable with a woman, if it kosher to ask to talk to a female? i have the number in my cell phone and I sometimes have the usage to call simply to see if it may help in someways. 
 
I hope this move doesn't kill me. Once I get settled in I will look deeply for a job, even though all of the summer job will probably be taken by college and high school students.
 
Good night moon.