Blind
I don't know if I've ever mentioned this, but I was once legally blind. I wasn't born that way. The disease stole my eyesight slowly until I couldn't see anything from my left eye. I t happened twice. The first time in my right eye and it was so bad that even surgery couldn't restore my sight completly. Yet, right now, I can drive, live a normal life. And for that I'm eternally grateful.
You can't imagine how much you rely on your sight until it is taken away. In my case, it was the right eye first and then ten years later the left. At the time I was scared. DH used to lie in bed with me, just holding me as I shook. I remember the fear of going outside. Imagine not knowing if someone is there. Or being able to see them, but not knowing what they look like. DH had to work, but he always checked on me. Always made me feel safe.
After a while, my eyesight started coming back. I was able to drive, but I still couldn't see facial expressions or a person's eyes. Believe it or not, that was when I went into sales. And the day of the interview, I again lost my sight in my left eye. DH drove me there and I was hired. He'd pick me up at night and no one ever knew they had hired a visually impared salesperson. I could see somewhat out of my right eye. This allowed me to keep my problem a secret from my bosses.
Now, it's nearly two years later. I've had surgery so I'm able to resume a normal life. I can drive, though night-time is scary for me. Somehow, I developed a fear of driving at night, though there is no medical reason why I can't drive anytime I want. Up until my husband passed, he used to drive me at night, never saying a word about my new fear. He let me move at my own pace, never pushing me. He understood without me saying a word.
Today, I thought about DH, how much we loved each other. How much I've lost. He loved me with my sight and without my sight. He was truly a remarkable man and I will love him for all eternity.
You can't imagine how much you rely on your sight until it is taken away. In my case, it was the right eye first and then ten years later the left. At the time I was scared. DH used to lie in bed with me, just holding me as I shook. I remember the fear of going outside. Imagine not knowing if someone is there. Or being able to see them, but not knowing what they look like. DH had to work, but he always checked on me. Always made me feel safe.
After a while, my eyesight started coming back. I was able to drive, but I still couldn't see facial expressions or a person's eyes. Believe it or not, that was when I went into sales. And the day of the interview, I again lost my sight in my left eye. DH drove me there and I was hired. He'd pick me up at night and no one ever knew they had hired a visually impared salesperson. I could see somewhat out of my right eye. This allowed me to keep my problem a secret from my bosses.
Now, it's nearly two years later. I've had surgery so I'm able to resume a normal life. I can drive, though night-time is scary for me. Somehow, I developed a fear of driving at night, though there is no medical reason why I can't drive anytime I want. Up until my husband passed, he used to drive me at night, never saying a word about my new fear. He let me move at my own pace, never pushing me. He understood without me saying a word.
Today, I thought about DH, how much we loved each other. How much I've lost. He loved me with my sight and without my sight. He was truly a remarkable man and I will love him for all eternity.
Replies
I don\'t like driving at night either. It is harder for me to judge distances. On the highway it always seems like the oncoming traffic are in my lane. I tend to avoid it unless it is unavoidable.
Hubby used to challenge me when I was afraid to do things. I think that I would not be near the confident person that I am if it were not for him. We sure have lost a lot yet a lot of who we are is owed to them. That we can keep.
Isn\'t it something-- when we remember the things that our loved ones did for us - either big stuff or small stuff -(and at the time, maybe we didn\'t show appreciation at all) that now, it is such a BIG DEAL- WE DIDN\'T SHOW THEM OUR APPRECIATION??!! It\'s a huge part of our normal grieving process- we have to be kind to ourselves.
DH sounds like a man who was in love with his wife. You and I were among the fortunate few who had loving, devoted spouses. I will love my Janelle forever as well. God Bless You.
Eddie
Your husband sounds like a great guy! Good memories.
Hugs, Joely
those are the things we miss about having a partner to watch over us and/or walk with us..glad you are able to go and do now. Night time is not my favorite drive time as well.
You have wonderful memories. Sounds like such a loving man.
Hugs, Carla
Wow! You have been through a lot in your life with your eye sight. DH sounds like a remarkable man indeed. Today I lied in my bed this morning just crying. Smokey was my remarkable man. No one will love me the way he loved me and accepted me hook, line and sinker. Dave is not my Smokey. Smokey knew I loved silver jewelry. He always enjoyed looking at the new pieces that I collected. He would always comment on them or what I was wearing. Indeed, Smokey was my remarkable man. Smokey knew what to buy me as he had great tastes and knew me inside and out. Dave never says a word about my jewelry. He is not my Smokey. They are definitely two different people and I miss Smokey so very much. The one year anniversary is coming up so no wonder I am crying. All the best to you and your life without DH. From Diane Baillie
They (our spouses) loved us unconditionally and we loved them back in the same manner. I, too, will love my Jim forever and miss him.