Bleh

Things havent been easy lately, I work a lot, avoid social outings,got my heart shattered into a milion pieces and i just am doing my best to keep my head above water. My ED has been really bad, but im about two weeks cut free now. All my scars are healed up but still really visible. Only thing that has seemed to help was the fact that he os back in my life.. 

I really forgot about the light he brought to me. He makes things clearer and less loud in my head... i know it couldnt ever be like it was, he doesnt care for me that way anymore but its just nice talking to him. Makes things not as dark and lonely as i feel. I even dreamt of him last night, about the first time we went to the beach... oh how long ago that feels. I wish i could go back to that day and stay there a little longer..