Blarg.
Stuck in the same old monotony.
I really think this waiting is killing me a lot. It's like peeling off and old band-aid, I just want to get the move over with. I'm scared but it's gonna be a hell of a lot better than this. I just want this to happen already!
I have been wanting to eat EVERYTHING lately. Legit. And I purged the other night because I was SO uncomfortably full. It genuinely wasn't a planned binge or an attempt to be thin or whatever, I felt like shit (and fat.) Trying to keep that in check.
The urge to SI has also been STRONG. I am avoiding that one though thankfully.
My sleep schedule has been SO screwed up. I was awake from 3 p.m.- 6 a.m. then today slept from 6 a.m. to 3 p.m. Wtf?! I am trying to get back on track with that too...
Idk. Not doing the best. I want this to move faster than it is! I'm so impatient for my life to start!
I just can't wait to drink with friends this week for thanksgiving break...
Okay one positive: Jess (my roommate) is AWESOME. Whenever I'm having a panic attack she skypes with me and calms me down. She's so great. It'll be good to have her there.
Hope everyone is doing ok!
I really think this waiting is killing me a lot. It's like peeling off and old band-aid, I just want to get the move over with. I'm scared but it's gonna be a hell of a lot better than this. I just want this to happen already!
I have been wanting to eat EVERYTHING lately. Legit. And I purged the other night because I was SO uncomfortably full. It genuinely wasn't a planned binge or an attempt to be thin or whatever, I felt like shit (and fat.) Trying to keep that in check.
The urge to SI has also been STRONG. I am avoiding that one though thankfully.
My sleep schedule has been SO screwed up. I was awake from 3 p.m.- 6 a.m. then today slept from 6 a.m. to 3 p.m. Wtf?! I am trying to get back on track with that too...
Idk. Not doing the best. I want this to move faster than it is! I'm so impatient for my life to start!
I just can't wait to drink with friends this week for thanksgiving break...
Okay one positive: Jess (my roommate) is AWESOME. Whenever I'm having a panic attack she skypes with me and calms me down. She's so great. It'll be good to have her there.
Hope everyone is doing ok!
Replies
I\'m sorry. May the binge depend on the waiting?
Be patient, keep yourself occupied but not too occupied and time will pass faster than you thought (:
It is diffucult while waiting for something to keep a routine, like going to bed at a certain time and getting up at a certain time regardless of whether this is what you feel like. I am so glad you have a nice roommate - I think this can sometimes \'make or break\' a situation - and it sounds like she will be a positive person to have around. Take care.
I was just writing with someone else and we were both discussing the strange sleep schedules that we have or had have!!! Yes, yours is a dilly all right!!! I hope you get back on something a bit more normal!!
Oh, waiting can be such a pain!!!!! I\'m sure you\'re champing at the bit to get started on the next step of your journey!!!!
If it was me and I wanted to eat all the time, it would most likely be because of the nervousness I felt about the upcoming changes.
I\'m glad you\'re not doing a lot of binging and good for you with the SI!!!!
It sounds like you\'re doing fairly well!!!! I hope you keep coping this well!!!!!
Have a happy and safe Thanksgiving!!!! (((((Hugs)))))
Oh, yeah!!!! And I love the title of your journal entry!!!!! \'Blarg!!!!!!\' LOLOLOL!!!!!!
I hope things can settle down soon for you- I\'m glad you have Jess to be there for you- Keeping you in my thoughts-
I agree with the above -- hang in there and believe in yourself! Making real changes will take time and there will be slipups, but you can do it, no question. Your strength and courage are already evident by your ability to post your struggles so openly and candidly here. Keep close to your friends and remember the MANY people who see you as beautiful and wonderful just as you are!
Im glad youve got a good friend to help ease you through this transition aswesum friends are what keep the world going round and ppl gttn through shit! You will be ok hang in there! we all have our blips in recovery just move on carry on you\'ll b ok