Black and bleak.......

That's how I feel. Tearful that this time last year Ric, our son was sick in hospital, I thought that was bad enough I didn't know there was worst to come. You broke down crying Ric, the only time in 17 years, because you couldn't bear to see Thom in pain, and you wanted to take it away for him. If only I could turn back the clock, so we could all be together again. Thom chose some Christmas flowers with a Rudolph in today for you, and we are going to get the balloons on Friday to send on Xmas Day. I feel irritable, horrible, like I don't want to be here. Memories keep diving in to my head of you, places, tastes, smells, things that I will never experience with you again. My heart is broken, I am bereft, my tears are flowing; I miss you so much, more than I could ever have imagined. I love you xxxxxxxx