Binging him home
When Tom was still alive, he wanted to come home. He was tired of the hospital, and didn't want to be there anymore. Although I had arrangements set for him to come home, he declined that week, and the doctor canceled everything, and he was sent to a hospice, where he passed away 3 days later.
today I picked up his remains, and brought them home. It brought me back to tears as I realized that my husband as I had known him is now contained in a black box and a silver urn. While I feel I have completed my mission of bringing him home, I am sad that I wasn't able to do that for him in life.
After only 2 weeks, I miss him so much i can't get the feeling of emptiness and utter despair out of my heart.
today I picked up his remains, and brought them home. It brought me back to tears as I realized that my husband as I had known him is now contained in a black box and a silver urn. While I feel I have completed my mission of bringing him home, I am sad that I wasn't able to do that for him in life.
After only 2 weeks, I miss him so much i can't get the feeling of emptiness and utter despair out of my heart.
Replies
I\'m sure that he had good reason for changing his mind to go to a hospice center. It could be to spare you all involved in terminal care. Trust his decision. You followed his wishes. You are in the hardest time of grief where you can\'t believe that this can possibly be true. Hugs, Sharon
Ditto Sharon. Breathe. You have endured a lot of serious emotional turmoil for some time now. Now it\'s time to start taking care of YOU, my friend. Easier said than done, I know. Start with simple things, like telling yourself you love you in the mirror, buying a grocery store bouquet of flowers when you next shop, have a decadent dessert, take a drive in the country . . . you get the point. I\'m still thinking of you and sending healing thoughts. xo, D
What\'s in the urn is not everything. Whether or not you believe in a \"soul\" Tom\'s physical remains are accompanied by your memories and the life you shared. Those things cannot be contained in an urn.
In some ways Tom lives on in your son. I know because when I look at my daughter, I also see my wife in her, and my mother and mother-in-law, all gone but still here in her.
At the same time I buried my wife, I purchased a plot next to hers. Jews believe in complete return of the physical body to the earth. It\'s comforting for me to know that I will return to the earth next to Arlene.